England Brilliance FCKYA!

I got drunk last night, so this update will suck...even more so than the others.

France 2 - Ukraine Nil

Frenchy was always winning this game.  They were awesome. Ukraine sucked arse.

England 3 - Svedes 2

Match of the tourney so far, and it seems I say that every day.  Roy Hodgson is the smartest man on the planet and should be working for NASA and shit.  He starts Andy Carroll ahead of Ox upfront, and the move pays off with the greatest header the world has ever seen.  Combine this goal with Carroll's beauty in the FA Cup Final...dare I say the big pony-tailed striker is turning a corner?!?  The cross came from another Red, big and fucking hard Steven Gerrard.



Down 2-1 after 2 quick goals from Sweden, Hodgson sends out super sub Theo Walcott to take over matters.  He notches it at 2 with a ball from the top of the box that surely had eyes.  He then blazes past some dude and sends in the cross to Danny Welbeck's back heel that may be the goal of the tournament.



Heard some nonsense about, "did he mean to do that?" (Welbeck that is).  Bullocks.  As Warren Barton said on FSC, if that's an Argentine or Brazilian, everyone's talking about what a magical goal it was.  Welbeck got his foot to it, in the only manner he possibly could.  It was gorgeous.

Now what does England do against Ukraine when Rooney comes back??  No worries, they've got Roy Hodgson to figure it out.  The only time he's been a moron is when he managed Liverpool, figures.

HUGE FINAL DAY in GROUP A TODAY!!

Go Polska!!!!

We interrupt these EUROS to bring you PISSED JEANS

Went to this show last month when I was "off-line." Wanted to share its awesomeness with y'all...


Pissed Jeans - False Jesii Part 2 from Almost Human on Vimeo.

Pissed Jeans - I've Still Got You (Ice Cream) from Almost Human on Vimeo.

Pissed Jeans - Boring Girls from Almost Human on Vimeo.

Italian Bummer, So Long Irish

Italy 1 - Croatia 1

All was swell.  Cesare Prandelli came out with the same controversial 3-5-2 system deployed against Spain, and it appeared to be working again.  The Azzurri had some quality chances.  Marchisio looked dangerous on a long distance rocket, and had two point blank shots snuffed by the Croatian keeper when he made himself BIG.  The back 3 was matching up nicely against Croatia's 2 monstrous strikers, limiting touches.  Pirlo was masterful again, scoring the first goal off a free kick in the Euros since 2004...



Even Balotelli looked to be having a decent game, and didn't embarrass himself or blow up (really curious as to what De Rossi was yelling at him after the Pirlo goal??)

Then the Italian DNA kicked in, as they tried to sit back and defend the 1-nil lead.  For 135+ minutes in EURO 2012, the new Italian mantra was refreshing and exciting to watch.  Then this.  Kudos to Croatia, who'd made some tactical changes at half that the announcers were gushing about which allowed Luka Modric to operate in more space.  You could almost see it coming, as Croatia was gaining more possession, and creeping closer to goal.

Up to the 71st minute, Giorgio Chiellini had been having a stellar tourney.  For 160 minutes thru 2 games, he'd been marking his dudes, always seeming to clear anything in the danger.  Then he wanders away from Mario Mandzukic for a brief and crazy moment.  Ivan Strinic's cross was pin point, and credit Mandzukic for an awesome touch, gather, and strike.  That dude is a stud.

BA FUNGUL!

Italy coulda controlled its own destiny against a piss poor Ireland side.  Now, they must hope for a non-draw in Croatia / Spain, along with a W against Ireland.  I'll be cheering for my pals and the Croatia side against Spain, but if things appear dim...I'll switch my rooting interest real fast.

Spain 13 - Ireland - Nil

Fernando Torres looked like the old Liverpool Fernando Torres, and scored in the opening minutes.  From there on out, the crazy Spaniards were off and running.  David Silva had a goal.  Torres added another.  And Cesc Fabregas came off the bench to blister another into the back of the net.  Thanks for coming Ireland.

Based off the performances from both sides in this game, I really gotta like my Italia's chances to get thru.  If Italy can't get its first win in 6 Euro / World Cup games against this Ireland team, they stink and don't deserve it.  And with Spain / Croatia tied at the top of the Group, Spain really has motivation to go out on top of the group and win this game.  If they do, they can avoid Germany until the Finals.

As mentioned above, I'll be pulling hard for Croatia on Monday.  But if it's getting late, and they're down 1 goal, I'll be switching sides.  With an Italy W, which is suspected, the only way they don't get thru is with a Spain / Croatia draw of 2-2 or more.  A draw of 1-1 would force Italy to win against Ireland by 2+ goals (I think).  A Nil-Nil draw...which this tourney has not seen...and Italy goes thru (I think).

ps: Huge props to the Irish fans.  Down and out, the atmosphere with them in the stands was awesome until the final whistle, and then some.  American sports fans could learn a lesson in this, supporting their club to the bitter end.  Kudos.

EURO Crackers Galore!

The crackers continue!!  Can't stress how incredible this tournament's been so far.  Always seems like the big national tourneys never live up to the hype.  This one has...so far.

Portugal 3 - Denmark 2

Beauty of an affair filled a with deadly crosses, scintillating free kicks, clinical finishes, and the suddenly dumbfounded Ronaldo.

If there was a "Worst of the Match", it would have to got to Christiano Ronaldo.  Dude looks absolutely woeful, sans meaningless step overs.  Two breakaways against the GK resulted in 2 fish lipped, stunned looks.  He whiffed on another at the top of the 18 where he looked downward to blame a blade of grass.  At one point, the fans in the stands started chanting, "Messi! Messi! Messi!"  Hilarious!

Fortunately for the Portos, the rest of the squad came to play.  Pepe, who I sorta loathe, had a brilliant header off a corner to open scoring.  Pepe kissed the Portuguese crest on his jersey, clearly proud of the country he's been a citizen of for a whole 5 years.  He then played a key role on the Portugal back line as he raised his hand continuously for offsides.  Postiga then put in a lovely flick off a nice little ball from Nani to make it 2-Nil Portugal.

Next it was the Nicholas Bendtner show for Denmark.  He buried one header off a nice set-up from Krohn-Dehli.  I'd never heard of this dude Krohn-Dehli prior to this Euros, but dude looks like a player.  He then slammed home another powerful header of a cross from Jacobsen in the 80th.  This came shortly after Ronaldo's 2nd huge fail in the game...one that coulda cinched 3 points for Portugal.

Then in the 87th minute, substitute Silvestre Valera saves Ronaldo's ass with the game winner.  Valera tried his best to impersonate the Portugal captain by fanning on his first attempt.  He then did a twirly whirly type move, and sent one flying past a diving Andersen for the W.  Had the game ended in a draw, it surely would sent the Portuguese home after the Group stage.  Now they're in the driver's seat to get thru the Group.


Germs 2 - NED 1

Another major disappointment from my Holland side.  Not in just losing to the Germans, who are clearly the better side, but simply the way they went about it for the first 70 minutes.  I know I'm not alone in this criticism, but just WTF is Dutch coach Bert Van Marwijk doing?!  THAT'S NOT TOTAL FOOTBALL!

 BVM clearly has some sorta blind loyalty to skipper Van Bommel, but that dude is basically useless out there.  Yeah, Van Bommel had a nice season with AC Milan.  But he serves zero purpose when you already have defensive MF Nigel De Long stumbling around out there. And for a MF that deployed 2 defensive MFs, there wasn't a whole lotta defense.  SCHWEINSTEIGER basically took a walk in the park against the Netherlands' midfield, picking out German dudes at will.

Even more curious is why nothing changed from the first game against Denmark. Again, Bundesliga leading scorer Huntelaar was left on the bench.  Van Der Fart was also left sitting.  At least BVM made changes at half and brought both players in as subs to start the 2nd. Too late. 

Props to the German team.  They are clearly the class of the Group of Death, and the best team we've seen in the competition.  The Germans are loaded. 

RVP got a nice goal in the 70th-something minute, but shoulda done better on an early ball right in front of the German GK.  That lone goal, however, might be a life line for NED.  Even with zero points thru 2 games, NED is miraculously still alive, due to Porto's 3 points over the Danes...

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY...

• Germany wins the group with a draw against Denmark.  Actually, they could be dicks, play for the draw, and eliminate their rivals Holland.
• Denmark could win the Group with a win. A draw could screw them by allowing Porto to pass them with a win or draw.  So the Danes will be pulling for NED.
• Portugal gets thru with a W over Holland, due their W over Denmark.  If both they and Denmark draw, they still get thru.  Lose, then they leave the door open for both Demark, and crazily, Holland.
• Incredibly, Holland gets thru with a W over Portugal by 2 goals AND a German victory over Denmark.  Judging by the way they're hanging their heads...I can't see that.

Pass the Word the Czechs Are Back!

2nd wave of fixtures from Group play.  More crackers from Group A, the "shitty" group, which has scored 12 goals in 4 games.

Czechs 2 - Greeks 1

The Czech Republic scored the fastest 2 goals in Euro history, in like the first 6 minutes or something.  The Greek back line was in shambles early, due to 2 new central defenders. They sucked. Peter Cech botched one off his mitts early in the 2nd half, and made a game of it for the final 40 minutes.  A loss would've eliminated the Czechs from the tourney, but instead, they're in prime position to get the Quarters after their tit peeling from Russia.  Greece, on the other hand...needs some help.

Poland 1 - Russia 1

Another passionate effort form one of the hosts.  And you gotta love the way the Ruskies play the game.  A lot of talent up front, and no wasted time in their attack.  Last time I saw Andrey Arshavin play this well was 4 years ago in this same tournament.  Not sure why that doesn't translate into the Prem. 

Dzagoev got the opening goal off a def free kick from Arshavin, giving him the tourney lead in goals with 3.  Then in the 57th, Poland's skipper, some dude with a really long and hard to pronounce name who they called "Kuba", scored one of the most crackingest goals of the tourney right outside the penalty box. This Kuba guy is pretty intense.  Both teams shared some chances til the end, while both also seemed to run outta gas.

So Group A will be decided Saturday at 2:30 with all 4 teams having a chance to get thru or getting nixed.  Unofficially, from these eyes...

• Russia gets thru with at least a draw against Greece. They could still get in with a loss (provided it wasn't a huge loss) with goal differential over CR and Greece.
• Greece must win to get thru, and with that W, would own the tiebreak over Russia.  The way it looks, even with a Czech / Poland draw (giving 3 teams 4 points), Greek would get in over CR due to goal differential.
• The Czechs get thru with a W, and could get in with a draw provided Russia beats or draws with Greece.
• Poland must win against the Czechs.  Win, and in. Otherwise, they're done.

I think.

Match Day 4 - Group D

England 1 - France 1

England supporters are most likely happy with the result, as well they should be.  Yet much of the match was a snooze fest as Roy Hodgson parked the school bus at the top of 18 the entire game.  The conservative nature was even more apparent when England did have possession, and central MF's Scott Parker and Stevie G barely ventured past the midfield line.

James Milner missed a golden chance that Wayne Rooney surely woulda buried.  18-year old Oxlade-Chamberlain looks like a player.  Glad to see our boy Gerrard figure in the scoring off a free kick, but we'd love to see him take more liberties up field.  Maybe England opens things up against Ukraine and Sweden.  Maybe.

Great goal from Frenchie Samir Nasir, although the celebration was a tad weird.  Get jacked up and yell and scream OR do the Max Talbot finger to lips "shhhhhh" thingy. Doing both seems counter productive.

Ukraine 2 - Sveden 1

Pretty much a cracker.  May have been the most entertaining match of the tourney so far.  54 year old Andriy Shevchenko became the oldest dude to score at the Euros, and did so twice.  Both goals were beauties, as well. Good for him...seems like a swell guy.

The first half was back and forth, but provided no goals.  Ibra opened the scoring in the 52nd with a nice little touch right in front of goal.  Shortly after, Shevchenko tied it with a diving header.  Seven minutes later, another header off a corner gave the Ukraine the lead for good.  The home crowd went berserker.  Good times.

On paper, it was an upset.  But Ukraine was definitely the better side for much the game, and played some pretty attractive footie with some surprising pace.  Group D has gotten real interesting, and based off Ukraine's play in this game, I wouldn't be surprised to see them get thru.

2nd round of Group play starts today.  Fckya.

Match Day 3 - Che Bello!

Italia 1 - Spain 1

Thanks to Cesare Prandelli for making everyone (including me) look stupid. And thanks to Vicente Del Bosque for cooperating. Prandelli's unorthodox 3-5-2 formation crowded Spain's midfield, and clogged up their tic-tac-toe passing game for most of the 90 minutes. Also helped that Spain added to the crowded midfield by playing NO forward strikers and SIX midfielders. Weird. I'm pretty dumb when it comes to such tactical thingies, but common sense told me that was a really strange move.

Really proud effort from the Azzurri, for the most part (sans Mario Balotelli). While the clampdown defence was prototype Italy, they also had a good share of the ball, and created a few quality chances of their own. Andrea Pirlo's leading ball that set up Antonio DiNatale's goal was a beauty, and the finish was just as nice. Daniele DeRossi was a beast in his new "sweeper" role, and Chiellini and Bonucci were solid on the 3-man back line as well. I gotta think DiNatale gets the start ahead of Balotelli against Croatia after that woeful "effort."

Spain had a beauty of a goal as well, with David Silva setting up Fabregas shortly after Italy went ahead. The lead was fun while it lasted.  Oh, well. 3 points woulda been huge. I'll take the tie. I gotta think Croatia and Ireland won't fair as well.

Great game for objective footie viewers, I imagine. A couple of mini dramas as one would expect (Thiaggo Motta, Sergio Busquets), but not nearly as much of that gamesmanship as you woulda expected going in.  Fernando Torres came on late, and sucked. Fabregas whined about the pitch after the game.

Croatia 3 - Ireland 1

As well as Italy played, Croatia had the best day of the Group. Sure...it was against the worst team of the group, but ask the Netherlands how that went for them in Group B.  With Italy and Spain on deck, it was a must 3 for Croatia and they took care of business. 

Another great game for viewers, sans the dickhead in the stands with fake ref whistle.  Lots of chances, and another great atmosphere from the crowd.  Mario Mandžukić was the man up front for the Cro with 2 headers that hit the back of the net.  He'll be the force up front that Italy didn't have to contend with against Spain.  The fan in me wants to say Gigi Buffon stands a better chance against both of those goals than Shay Given.

Stick the fork in Ireland.

Match Day 2 - Group of Slow Death

Denmark 1 - NED nil

totally fucking figures.  My pick to win it all comes out the chutes like a dud.  Holland took 94 shots in the game, but not a single one was on frame.  Robben was off his game, so much so that I can't recall a single flop from the SCUBA master.  Van Persie sucked.  Some dude named Krohn-Dehli scores when he wants, and did so in the 20th or something minute for the Danes.

 
In fairness to Denmark, they played a brilliantly defensive game.  When they had their chances they took them, and had a decent share of the ball at times.  The Danes weren't content with sitting 10 in the box and punting every time they touched it, so kudos for that.  Liverpool centre-defender Danny Agger was a stud most of the match.

Not too many quality opps from NED that I remember.  RVP tripped over some grass right outside the 6 on one occasion. And Huntelaar had a glorious chance set up by our boy Sneijder, but the Dane keeper made himself big.  Other than that, a well deserved 3 points from the Danes.

With Germany and Porto still looming, getting squat against Denmark...the supposed worst of the group...could spell death in the Group of Death.

Germany 1 - Portos nil

Probably the worst match yet, as it appeared Portugal's goal was a nil-nil tie.  Apparently, they were trying to impress Jose Mourinho who was in the stands.  The game did pick up once Mario Gomez opened the scoring in the 72nd minute.  Porto was finally forced outta their shell, and the final 20 minutes was pretty entertaining.

Misc Notes: 

• Bruno Alvez has to be the sweatiest human ever.
• Michael Ballack: we get it, you're German, and you're rooting really really hard for Germany.

Game of the Day:

While Ronaldo was invisible for Portugal, Lionel Messi was lighting it up at the Meadowlands in a friendly against Brasil....



Jesus. What a human being.

 GROUP C TODAY! FORZA FORZA FORZA!!!

Match Day 1 - Group A fckya!

Greece 1 - Polska 1

Sort of a cracker from a game that looked like a dud to open the festivities.  Polska dominated the 1st half, and some Greek dude whose last name can't fit on the back of his jersey (seriously) got screwed with a couple of soff yellows.

Greece regrouped at half.  Down a goal and 1 man, the half time sub Salpingidis pounced on a loose ball in front of Polska GK Szczęsny who looked stupid on the play.

20 minutes later, Greece coulda pulled out the stunning comeback when Szczęsny was handed a straight red after tripping up Salpingidis in the box.  Poland pulled some dude named Tyton outta the stands to play G in place of Szczęsny.  Greek captain Karagounis had a case of tight bum, and took a poor PK.  Tyton snuffed it.  Poland went berserker.  Greece effed themselves a chance at 3 points.

Russia 4 - Czechs 1

Russia probably coulda scored 6 or 7 if Kerzhagov had any ability to finish.  Other than that, Russia showed they're the class of Group A.  Arshavin looked great (or better than he ever has at Arsenal), Alan Dzagoev was a stud, and Roman Pavlyuchenko scored the goal of the day.

The cheeky Czechs made it 2-1 at one point when Kovalchuk failed to get back on the play defensively, and some Czech dude capitalized with a brief moment of brilliance. Other than that, Peter Cech was basically under siege all day and even his helmet couldn't save him.

Cracking day of footie from what is clearly the worst of the 4 groups.  Russia looks capable of big things.  As far as long term plans for the rest of these teams, tho...meh.

BRING ON THE GROUP OF DEATH!!

Official EUROS 2012 picks

Here's your WINNERS:

Group A:

RUSSIA - WINNER
Poland - runner-up

Tough call here for 2nd place, going with the home side to edge out those crazy Czechs.

Group B:

 

NETHERLANDS (aka: Holland) - WINNER
Germany - runner-up

Van Persie scores when he wants. He scores when he wants. Portugal and that wanker Ronaldo are the odd team out in the group of death.

Group C:

 

SPAIN - WINNER
Croatia - runner-up

Hate going against my Beloved Italia. But they've got issues. Word on the streets is they're experimenting with a 3-man back line, with De Rossi as the lone central defender?!? WTF? That worked out real well for Inter Milan this year. I'll be pulling hard to the contrary, but I think my Azzurri is effed.

Group D:

 

FRANCE - WINNER
England - runner-up

I like the new regime and youth movement from the Frenchies. And even with England's injury woes, I'll take them to get by Ibra and those silly Swedes.

IF ALL ABOVE HOLD TRUE:

QUARTERS:

Germany over Russia. Germany - WINNER
Netherlands over Poland. Dutch - WINNER
Spain over England.  Spain - WINNER
France over Croatia. France - WINNER

SEMIS:

 

Upset: Germany over Spain. Just because I'm crazy. Germans, WINNER.
NED over France. NED - WINNER.

FINAL:

NED over Germany. Book it. NED, WINNER.

 

My Bloody Valentine - the good and the bad

My Bloody Valentine is reissuing their stuff...FINALLY!!! That's the GOOD, and it's an awesome GOOD at that. Bad news...CD only. So no new vinyl yet and that sucks. On the bright side, besides Loveless and Isn't Anything, they're also putting out a new collection of EPs, neatly titled EPs 1988-91. I don't have any of the EPs, so I'll probably fork over the cash burgers for that. More GOOD...a new MBV album on the horizon?!?! FCKYA. Here's an unreleased track found over on the Pitchforks...

  Latest tracks by My Bloody Valentine

my favorite tune off of Loveless...

  some more potential BAD...according to Slicing Up Eyeballs, there may be an issue with the labeling of the 2 CDs contained in the Loveless reissue. Ah jeez.

Moonlit Matinees are Back at the Oakmont Theater

Now in its 10th year.  All summer long, Friday and Saturday nights at 10:00pm in Oakmont.  Check out the listings:

MOONLIT MATINEE SCHEDULE:

May 25 & 26 - Pee Wee's Big Adventure
June 1 & 2 - Die Hard
June 8 & 9 - ET - The Extra Terrestrial
June 15 & 16 - The Princess Bride
June 22 & 23 - National Lampoon's Animal House
June 29 & 30 - Predator
July 6 & 7 - Labyrinth
July 13 & 14 - Ghostbusters
July 20 & 21 - The Jerk
July 27 & 28 - Back to the Future Part II
August 3 & 4 - Escape from New York
August 10 & 11 - The Big Lebowski
August 17 & 18 - The Shining
August 24 & 25 - Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Predator? Big Lebowski? Fast Times? FCKYA!!! Surely we'll be visiting Oakmont on a few occassions this summer.

Thanks to Mr Nick on the heads up.  I guess this means The Room will be put on the shelves for the summer, which is the bummer part of this.

Liverpool vs Messi

thanks to TB for that!

1975. Yes, indeedy.

Yeah, it would've been 10 times better had we beat those bastards ourselves. But there's still something bitter sweet about seeing the hated Flyers go down in flames.

It was fun viewing. We saw Giroux snap, Laviolette whine about a non-offsides call (pretty fitting), Rinaldo impersonate a hockey player, and Bryzgalov implode for the series deciding goal. AWESOME. We also had a lot of fun with our new toy created by TB, the #stunned tumblr (see above).

Today we celebrate. Tomorrow, we reflect on who was really to blame for the Pens collapse.

GBV - Class Clown Spots a UFO

pretty cool fan vid for the title track of GBV's new album...

 

thanks to savannasaurus who seems to make quite a few of these. nicely played. Also just heard... GBV is playing the CBGB Fest in NYC this July...same place we'd seen Pavement play a couple years ago.

Also, this is kinda old news, but there is now a GBV Vimeo page. And they added one of our videos... FCKYA!!