Fight Night

Tonight in MSG should be fun. Gotta admit, I was pretty surprised to see Donald Brashear sheepishly skate away from Eric Godard on Saturday. I suspect Brashear will ditch the purse and try to regain some respect tonight. But we will see.

I was equally not surprised to see Sean Avery act the coward once again. Instead of squaring up with someone, he jumps Fedotenko from behind and starts throwing punches at the back of his head. Game misconduct for Avery. How convenient. Puke:

.

Avery will undoubtedly run and hide again tonight, so get ready to be disappointed.

In other Pittsburgh sports news, per Mike Tomlin, the Steelers plan to "unleash hell in December." Hopefully, "hell" can play CB better than Willie Gay.

All I want for Xmas is a Freedom Tray

Already ordered mines. For reals.

Like Herm Edwards, But More Emotional

GBV - Portland 2004

Thanks to gbvh for the heads up. And thanks to FastAtmosphereSF for posting. Appears there's a few tunes from this show available.

Gonna Never Have To Die / Tropical Robots :



GBV > Alien Ant Farm

Desert Bus

I'm an unapologetic Penn & Teller fan. Whenever I make it out to Vegas, I'll be seeing the stage show. I try to catch all the Bullshit episodes, despite not having Showtime. I've even bought and read the books.

One of the lesser know ventures the duo have undertaken was a failed video game. The game was being produced under the working title of "Penn & Teller: Smoke and Mirrors" and was essentially a collection of mini-games, that covered a variety of Penn & Teller subject material. While the game never saw the store shelves, one of it's mini-games found its way into the deep seedy world of Internet piracy. That game is "Desert Bus".

The game was a response to the then Janet Reno attack on video game violence and detachment from reality. She called for video games to be more realistic, which prompted the making of the most painfully realistic game you could make. As described in the (accurate) Wikipedia article.

The objective of the game is to drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time at a maximum speed of 45mph. The feat requires 8 hours of continuous play to complete, since the game cannot be paused.

The bus contains no passengers, and there is no scenery or other traffic on the road. The bus veers to the right slightly; as a result, it is impossible to tape down a button to go do something else and have the game end properly. If the bus veers off the road it will stall and be towed back to Tucson, also in real time. If the player makes it to Las Vegas, they will score exactly one point. The player then gets the option to make the return trip to Tucson—for another point (a decision they must make in a few seconds or the game ends). Players may continue to make trips and score points as long as their endurance holds out. Some players who have completed the trip have also noted that, although the scenery never changes, a bug splats on the windscreen about five hours through the first trip, and on the return trip the light does fade, with differences at dusk, and later a pitch black road where the player is guided only with headlights.

The game became famous, or infamous, in certain circles for its inane premise and absurd play.

Why discuss Desert Bus? Why now? All fair questions, but ones that can be answered.

Yesterday started the 3rd annual "Desert Bus for Hope" game marathon. A bunch of kids decided a few years back that a multi-day marathon run of Desert Bus was a fitting way to raise money for a charity that supports groups that foster gaming and recreation for "less-fortunate" children. I'm not trying to sell anyone on a charity, just felt it necessary to the story.

"Desert Bus for Hope 1" lasted 4 days and 14 hours, earning them 6 points.
"Desert Bus for Hope 2: Bus Harder" lasted 5 days and 5 hours

Now the group is roughly 14 hours into "Desert Bus for Hope 3" and as for now they hope to go 103 hours of driving a lifeless 16-bit graphic bus down a straight scenic-less road.

I would suggest everyone take a few minutes to check out their website. It's full of good stuff, along with updates to their progress, as well as web cam shots from the bus driver and of the video game itself.

Go those guys.

P.S. Fortuna Dusseldorf, winners! Reading, soon-to-be-winners!

Chris Neil Pummeled

Yeah...he held tough for awhile. But that's what good punching bags do. About the only thing good to come outta last night's game...



I'll give him some props for hanging in with Godard. Although the double arm pump at the end is kinda lame after getting your face bloodied.

Happy Birthday Kim Wilde

If you could spent 5 minutes or 20 minutes with Kim Wilde, your life is better for it.

Dock Ellis and the LSD No-No

This is GREAT!! Perhaps the best video ever created on YouTube. From No Mas TV, and artist James Blagden. Thanks to gbvh for the heads up....

The gig is up...

I, personally, would prefer "Watch Me Jumpstart"

But this works :)

And You Thought The Forward Pass Was Huge...

Every so often, someone comes along and changes the way we look at how a sport can be played. Great men come and change the way the rest of humanity views a sport, and we are all better for it. While we all know of the alley-oop, and west coast offensive, this video below may change gym class races, FOREVER!

You'll speak to kids in twenty years, and tell them of the times you were in school, before this video, and everyone assumed there was only one way to transition in the wheelbarrow race. Those kids will slightly cock their heads and give a listless stare as try to contemplate life before this video. That is how monumental these 19 seconds are to primary schools the world over...



Do you feel that? It's the world changing... evolving... growing. Don't tell me American schools are falling behind. I may have believed the lies before, not now. Not to mention the "And1 Mixed Tape Tour"-esque crowd reaction this move gets. If anything deserves an "OHH BABY!", it's this.

In other news, today is the anniversary of the 1975 of the wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald. If you don't listen to the full song, you're an ass.

Jerome Bettis drops another notch

So, with the recent development of Rashard Mendenhall, it appears The Bus will move down even further on the All-Time Steeler RB list. Remember, compiling and self promotion at the Running Back Position gets you nowhere with EC's official list. So save the stats for the stat dorks. Rather, it is talent and skill which we rank these guys. Points are also deducted for almost fumbling away a Superbowl...

#1) Franco
#2) Willie Parker
#3) Barry Foster
#4) Rocky Bleier
#5) Bam Morris
#6) Rashard Mendenhall
#7) Jerome Bettis

Softball Guy

Since Yost is slacking with Part II, lemme interject with the most hilarious description ever of "Softball Guy." I just watched (actually...listened, there's no moving video) this 4 straight times, laughing my tits off. I used to play a lot of softball. A LOT OF SOFTBALL. Many of you probably know some fellas who've played...or perhaps you've played yourself. This is simply hysterical, and deadly accurate. Warning it's a little long at 8 minutes, but give it the full 8. Trust...

TFC in '09 - Part I

In an exclusive EC three-part series, we examine where the 2009 Toronto FC season went so badly, and what needs to change as we look towards 2010. Today, we’ll examine the now vacant post of head coach, and the two men that held the title ’09. Part II will examine TFC ownership and general manager Mo Johnson. Part III will focus on the TFC roster.

PART I – Head Coach

Looking at the failure that was the 2009 season, much of the blame has been placed squarely on the shoulders of the team’s head coach. While Chris Cummins held the post for a majority of the season, it was with the “interim” tag attached to it, following the departure of John Carver.

Carver’s stint as TFC head coach lasted 39 games spread over two seasons. With TFC’s first coach, Mo Johnson, moving to a general manager-esque position with the team, Carver was able to manage the club to a 28.2 winning percentage. After being fined $750 by MLS for criticizing officials, Carver was conspicuously absent from the bench for the team’s next fixture, and then resigned for the always generic “personal reasons.” With TFC scrambling to quickly find a replacement, the club promoted first assistant coach, Chris Cummins in the lead spot, with his whole zero games management experience behind him.

Under Cummins, the club certainly appeared to become a better defensive club. TFC’s goals against dropped from 1.8GPG to 1.28GPG. However, two glaring issues surmise the Cummins era of TFC; substitutions, and subsequently, late goals allowed, and team cohesion. With Cummins reluctant to go to the bench often, TFC led MLS in goals allowed in the 76th minute and beyond, with 16. The league average was 9.06 goals. Worse still, TFC found the back of the net only twice once a game reached the 76th minute.

Even more surprising is how Toronto games were dictated by scoring first. TFC never lost a game in which they struck first, yet only claimed victory once despite conceding the first goal in 14 fixtures. To say that coaching was a weak spot for TFC in ’09 would be a drastic understatement.

Now that Cummins is gone, the aforementioned Mo Johnson has stated publicly that he wants the next person in the position to have MLS coaching experience. So much so, that people are wondering if will be a requirement of any applicant. With the coaching turnover in MLS so prevalent it would make a McDonald’s manager’s head spin, there are plenty of people that could fill the MLS experience need. However, one name has to quickly shoot towards the top of the list, with the recent news that DC United manager, Tom Soehn, will leave the club after this season, over an apparent unrest with his contract status, While, United certainly had a less-than-desirable season, but Soehn has the experience to coach and win in MLS. The MLS Cup title in ’08 and Supporter’s Shield title in ’07 speak to that. Furthermore, the way Soehn is leaving shows that a serious offer from another club could persuade Soehn to another club in 2010.

Can Mo Johnson and the MLSE ownership group make a respectable offer to bring Soehn, or another successful MLS coach to BMO field? Part II of the series will tackle that and other issues as it related to the front office of TFC.

"Calls Him Fat..."

Mike Leach on Texas Tech getting dominated in last week's game.



I Drink Your Blood tonight.

The requested TFC post coming sometime this weekend.

Fortuna Dusseldorf in 40 minutes, let's go.

Horror for the Whole Family

I know what you're thinking: Hey G...where's all those fun and exciting horror films you recommend this time of year? I know...I've been lax with a bunch of travel. But that doesn't mean I haven't indulged in my normal horror routine in between the rock n' roll lifestyle weekends.

This Halloween fell on the weekend (that's a Geto Boys lyric for those not down). So you, the wife, and kids need to run down to the local Family Video and get your mitts on some of these nuggets...

I Drink Your Blood (1970)

This grindhouse classic will change your life. I swears. It changed mine. Hippy satanists, meat pies, rabies, a large headed kid, and rat-kabob. This all equals instant classic. It was also the first film ever to be "Rated X" for its violence alone. The DVD is full of extras you'll be sure to enjoy. Rent or buy this now, and make sure that "Rollo Yates" is a household name with your family this Halloween...



BTW...

I Drink Your Blood and Mr. Vampire III will playing as a double feature at the Andy Warhol Museum THIS Friday, starting at 7:00, as part of the "SuperTrash Film Series." My co-hort Yost tells me that director David Durston will be in attendance. Tickets = $10 cheap

Don't Go In the House (1980)

Memo to parents: Don't burn your kids. Perhaps the best film ever involving a steel room and a flamethrower...



Prince of Darkness (1987)

I'm more of a slasher and zombie fan than I am of the supernatural stuff. But this is one cool film. Highlighted by director John Carpenter's typical creepy music....




The Burning (1981)

Can't blame Harvey Weinstein for wanting to get in on the slasher genre spearheaded by the likes of Halloween and Friday the 13th. It's not as good as either of those two (or a few others for that matter), but The Burning is pure bliss. Yeah, the plot is a familiar one, but who gives a crap? Death by scissors is always interesting, and it's highlighted by some great special effect kill scenes by the master Tom Savini, including the initial burning.

Not only did The Burning launch the careers of the Weinstein Bros, but also that of Jason Alexander and Holly Hunter. No shit.



Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals (1977)

OK...this is one of those films, as you're watching it, you feel a great deal of shame. It's one of those films you don't tell other people that you actually watched. You feel really dirty watching it. So here I am to tell you about it....

Emmanuelle is much more porn than it is horror. Actually, it's everything you could want in a pure exploitation film: lots of nakedness and sex, followed by cannibals eating people. I'm told from a good friend that there's a slew of these "Emmanuelle" films, so if you and the family enjoy this one, maybe you can devote a whole night to her...perhaps during the upcoming holidays.

Emanuelle E Gli Ultimi Cannibali
by riton23

House On the Edge of the Park (1980)

Unlike other reviewers, I don't believe that Italian director Ruggero Deodato (also known for the 1980 classic Cannibal Holocaust) was trying to capitalize on the Last House on the Left character Krug. Don't be mistaken...this ain't Krug. This is Alex. And Alex likes to rape and pillage (but more rape). Think Disco Krug. Unlike Last House, there's no forced piss-your-pants scenes. But there's a great twist at the end, which I'll let you see for yourself. Oh..and lots of torture and rape stuff. I won't lie...you and your family may feel a little weird after watching this one...



So have a safe and fun Halloween from all of us here at Empties Crushed. I leave you and your family with the greatest "Bastard" scene of all time, from the 1982 chainsaw classic, Pieces...