...randomness surrounding Guided by Voices, Robert Pollard, and other great indie rock bands; a quasi objective look at "my" sporting teams; the random horror film; plus other crap as we see fit...all with a Pittsburgh based feel.

Friday, June 22, 2007

U-S-and-A!!! U-S-and-A!!! U-S-and-A!!!

I've got a lot of catching up to do w/in the next week: ASS HATS (including the 1st Ass Hat request), a Jim Thome & Homies visit to the Burgh, Copa America looms, and Pitchfork's only 3 weeks away...but 1st...

Gold Cup Semi's - US Soccer gets some help to get it done vs. our pals from above. If you haven't seen it, Canada had a clear goal taken away for a phantom offsides. It would've tied it at 2-2 four minutes into stoppage.

Whoever saw the game got to see why I loathe Landon Donovan. Minutes after getting a Yellow for an obvious dive (and he was frickin 40 yards away from the goal!!! what's the point!?!), LD takes a PK that DeMarcus Beasley had earned, and once again he goes into that lame-ass little notice-me notice-me routine. KICK the BALL you ASS!!! You're embarrassing us, already!

No doubt Donovan's a quality player, perhaps the best on team USA. But the dude's persona wreaks of turdness. My other problem with Donovan is his propensity to strive against weaker competition, and fail miserably against quality (see: 2006 World Cup or his inability to hack it in Germany), all the while acting like his poop don't stink.

I've got tremendous respect for dudes like Clint Dempsey, Brian McBride, Tim Howard, and Carlos Bocanegro...all guys who have played at the highest levels in Europe. And I'd love to see a guy like Eddie Johnson go abroad, just to see what he's made of. But Donovan gets zero props from me, despite the fact that he's 1 goal away from tying my boy Eric Wynalda for most goals ever in International competition.

Don't believe me? Watch the Copa America, which starts next week on GolTV, and see how LD disappears against the likes of Argentina, Paraguay, and Colombia (the rest of Group C).

Anyway...enough of the only soccer player in the world I dislike. For the good guys...my personal Players of the Match:

U.S. - Frankie Hejduk. Any coincidence he looks like my boy Hernan Crespo? Dude scores the 1st goal (off of a nice little lay off from tool box Donovan) right outside the box, and then holds down the back line the rest of the match. Hejduk was all over the place. Quality defending. Bad news - he picks up his 2nd Yellow in 2 games, so he'll sit the Final vs. Mexico.

Honorable mention to the Coach's son, Michael Bradley...all up to the point where he got a Straight Red for burying the back of Julian DeGuzman's legs. Besides that moment...Bravo. Bradley will also miss the final. Oops.

Canada - where the hell did Ian Hume come from?? Hume comes off the bench trailing 2-nil, energizes Canada with some physical play (I believe my fellow Americans would call it thuggery), buries the 1st goal, then plays Goalkeeper by stopping a clear US goal off a Clint Dempsey header.

Mexico beat Guadeloupe 1-Nil in the other semi. Final is scheduled for this Sunday at Soldier Field: 2:30pm on Fox Soccer. Judging from the stands last night, I wouldn't be surprised if Mexico had the home field advantage...at least in terms of fans.

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I mentioned Stiffler yesterday...he's all good!! A little groggy with about a 4x4 bald spot and 4 stitches. But he's safe at home, thankfully.

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I mentioned that Ray Hudson quote from Saturday's La Liga final round....

For most of the game, whenever possible, the cameras kept catching Posh Spice, Tom Cruise, and Katie Holmes in the stands...cheering on their boy Becks. Clay surface stud Rafael Nadal was also in attendance. After Madrid added an insurance goal to go up 3-1, Hudson was carrying on about the victory, talking about the gutsy performance and year for a lot of the Madrid players, blah, blah, blah. He started praising the play of Goalkeep Iker Casillas. Now if you know what Hudson sounds like, with accent and all, you'll probably find this funny. If not...you may wanna move on:

RH (referring to Casillas): "...beautiful tears of a man whose heart was bursting..."

Phil (interjects as the camera just showed Tom Cruise again): "you mean Tom Cruise..."

RH (almost in a yell): "Will you stop talking about tennis players and stupid Hollywood actors, Phil!!! It's the gladiators out there, man!! Not tennis players...(or) Tom Cruise. Gimme a break!! If he even smelled a soccer jock strap, he'd faint dead away."

Classic! Hands down the best color-guy I've EVER heard. I've searched all over for more Ray Hudson sound bytes, info, and stuff...but it's been a hard find. Check out Hudson's Wikipedia page, and there's a crapload of his quotes. Amazingly, they've already got the Real Madrid / Mallorca match and his quotes on there!!!! If you notice, it appears their version of the quote is different from mine. But I swear mine's the correct version (I rewound the thing 20 times last night). Great stuff:

Ray Hudson Wikipedia page


If you don't have GolTV, you're truly missing out. We've got it with Comcast, but you need to pay an extra $5/month...it includes Fox Soccer, as well as a slew of other regional Fox stations. I also know DirecTV has it, b/c we're getting ready to switch (and I wouldn't without it).

And if you're thinking of subscribing, now's the time. Through July 15th, they'll broadcast EVERY match from the Copa America in Venezuela (I think 26 total matches). And I'm sure Hudson will do his share of games. It gets under way this Tuesday, and USA plays Lionel Messi, Carlos Tevez and Argentina Thursday, at 8:50pm. My DVR is set. Click here for the complete schedule:

Copa America on GolTV

My pick to win: Argentina gets revenge against Brazil. Yeah, I know. That's going out on a limb.

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AND FINALLY...

late notice from Tommy Amoeba, but a great show tonight in Wilkinsburg, PA, featuring the cartoon rock n' roll depravity of Amoeba Knievel. Straight from Tommy's e-mail list, here's the scoop:

Mr. Roboto Project; 722 Wood St; Wilkinsburg

Also featuring Joe Jack Talcum of the Dead Milkmen, Ukebox (from Philly), and the Pittsburgh Goof Rock Consortium starring the Weird Paul Rock Band (described as Pittsburgh's loudest, weirdest band). I thought Tommy had the market cornered on "weird," so they must be something special. Can't personally vouch for the others, but Amoeba Knievel is WELL worth the low $6 price for admission.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

i was watching landon's pre-shot routine thinking who the fuck is this? nomar garciaparra?

what a wank job. loved when he missed that empty net. not just the empty net -- the entire ball.

WE WUZ ROBBED!!!!

gary said...

I forgot about that!!! That was HILARIOUS. He totally whiffed and fell on his ass. Good times!

Anonymous said...

>but Amoeba Knievel is WELL worth the low $6 price for admission.

is shit mayor on the bill? i'm assuming no cuz that 6 would have to have a 0 after it and it'd still be a steal.