Joe Lies When He Cries

So I'm watching the Little League World Series Sunday, completely engulfed in the extra inning affair between Georgia and Japan. Maybe "engulfed" is a tad overboard. But the 8th inning walk-off HR by some kid from Georgia was pretty cool.

Georgia kids and families go berzerker. The Japanese kids cry.

What's with all the fricking crying?!?!? I mean...I'm not picking on the Japanese kids, because every losing team cries.

Not to sound like the old guy, "when I was a kid...blah, blah, blah," but when I was a kid, if you cried after a baseball game, you were ridiculed by your fellow Little League-ers. It was embarrassing. Now it's like the in-thing to do. Grow up, already. It's a frickin baseball game! It's not like your coach slapped you on National TV or anything...

World Class: Goal, Stiff

Last night's Superliga Final, LA Galaxy vs. Pachuca, Chris Klein with a simply amazing goal in stoppage time to notch it at 1's. It dudn't get any better than this...


Game goes to PK's, where Landon Donovan proves once again why he's such a stiff. KICK THE BALL YOU ASS CLOWN!!!!!! You're a great player, but YOU ARE EMBARRASSING your country already!!!

For those who know Landy Cakes' little pre-PK ritual, this is old hat. But this time, he has a chance to win the game, and he gets completely snuffed by Pachuca's Miguel Calero. This video's rather long at 8 minutes (shows the entire Shootout), but worth seeing the end if you despise Donovan the way I do...


Pachuca wins. And I'm not sure I can root for US Soccer while Donovan is its leader. Real tough.

How do you spell 'Retard'?

Brett Myers, Phillies RHP and wife beater, gave up back-to-back HR's earlier this week, essentially blowing the game against the San Diego Padres. When approached by reporters, Myers basically said he thought they were good pitches and the two long balls were "pop-ups."

Interesting take on "pop-ups." Anyway...here's what ensued when he got annoyed by the reporters, including the interesting choice of the slur "retard"...

(double click to play)
:: Brett Myers - You Say Home Run, I Say Pop-Up ::

Bugs and Cranks has the entire tirade transcribed HERE.

Last year, The Onion had an interesting take on the whole wife-beating incident.

Hey...speaking of Ass Hats...

Travis Henry has fathered 9 children by 9 women in 4 different states. That's not the Ass Hat part. I mean...nothing wrong with having 9 kids, especially if you're an athlete with a $22.5 million contract and can afford to do so (ok...maybe some people will take issue with the 9 different women thingy).

But the problem is, Henry's spending habits have apparently interfered with his child support payments. In lieu of sending his kids cash, Henry saw it fit to spend $146,000 on bling. JHC!! That's $46,000 more than what he paid for his car!

Futbol Notes, and stuff

Not the best of starts for my beloved Inter Milan. Marco Materazzi gets injured during Italy's lame ass loss against Hungary (he's got a groin), so he's going to be out until Xmas. Great.

Sunday, leading 1-Nil against Udinese in its Serie A lid lifter, GK Julio Cesar has a brain fart, gets called for a hand ball outside the top of the 18 yard box, and gets sent off. Down a man, Inter gives up the tying goal and the 3 points.

Worse yet...AC Milan, Juve, and Roma all win. WTF?!?



Heard Johnny Rotten, an avid Arsenal fan, was a special guest last night on Fox Football Fone-In, and I missed it dammit. I speak nothing but the f*%king English language...

more nothin to do with futbol. and we don't caaarrrrrrrrre...

I guess it could be worse for Inter. At least they scored. Unlike Barcelona who took home a Nil-Nil draw against Racing. I'll assume better days ahead for Ronnie, Eto'o, Messi, Henry and crew. Henry btw, came off the bench in the 60th minute for my boy Messi. I'm real curious as to how Frank Rijkaard is gonna get all this talent to work together. It better happen soon...as in this Sunday at Camp Nou.

Speaking of soccer...Toronto FC still hasn't scored. Those bastards.

And for the only good news for one of "my teams" this week...

Liverpool. Winners.

A couple more solid performances from Liverpool this week. 2 goals Saturday...1 from Momo and 1 from Voronin were enough to take care of Roy Keane's Sunderland squad. And yesterday, the Reds took care of Toulouse at Anfield to advance to the Knockout Stage of the Champions League. All the while w/o injured Stevie Gerrard (he's got a toe). Rest up, my boy.

Next 4 fixtures: (h) Derby, (a) Portsmouth, (h) Birmingham, (a) Wigan. Winner, Winner, Winnner, Winner. That's 12 points right there.

WATCH LIST this week...

Friday, 2:30pm, UEFA Super Cup Final, AC Milan vs. Sevilla, FSC

Saturday, Noon, Man Utd. vs. Sunderland, FSC

Saturday, 2:30pm, Inter Milan vs. Empoli, FSC

Sunday, 11:00am, Aston Villa vs. Chelsea

Looks like i need to visit Piper's Pub again this weekend if I intend on watching the Liverpool / Derby match.

AND WTF IS WITH GOLTV'S SCHEDULED LISTINGS!?!?!?! Updating your programming guide 1 day before a match is NOT CUTTING IT CHIEFS!!!!!! Hot Damn!

New Pollard Releases

Two (TWO!!!!) new Pollard releases due out in October kids. October 9th to be exact. Both on Merge Records:

Standard Gargoyle Decisions

Coast to Coast Carpet of Love

But that's old news. Go here to check out the newly designed CD jacket for the Advanced / Promo copy of both albums. Pretty cool stuff.

CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR THESE!!!

more Bob / GBV content...

Someone kindly mentioned to me the other day: "hey ass bag, why the lack of Bob / GBV tunes on Empties Crushed?" I prefer "Gary", but "ass bag" also works, if necessary. I guess sometimes I wrongfully assume most peeps reading these pages (the handful of you, that is) already know all this stuff.

But just in case, I'll throw some random samplings on the sidebar every week. Nothing download-able, but some tunes you can nibble on while you peruse this stupid site. Besides...this is all stuff you should own, not simply be downloading. Simply click on the embedded players to the right, and rawk at your leisure.

Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger

for those 2 Wisconsin fans here. gotta love Madison


It's all fun 'n games until October 13th. Circle it. In Happy Valley. Bucky goes down.

Blue Horseshoe loves Anacot Steel

that is all.

I Christen thee, The Flying Wasp

Appears a federal marshal has repossessed a $1.5 million 70-foot yacht owned by former NBA-er and Choke Hold Artist, Latrell Sprewell.

damn, where's my Asshat guy when I need him :)

Wasn't Sprewell the same guy, who only a few short years ago when negotiating his last contract, said: "I got a family to feed."

Looks like "Spree" also had a boat to pay for. He has since defaulted on his $1.3 mil mortgage on the yacht, which was named "Milwaukee's Best."

More asshat news...

Stephon Marbury was the latest to come to Michael Vick's defense, saying there's basically no difference between dog fighting and hunting deer.

Without dissecting this too much, I guess you could start with the main difference: one is illegal, the other is not illegal.

Marbury even takes it a step further by calling Vick, "a good human being."

Good human beings don't hang, drown, electrocute, and strangle defenseless animals because they aren't up to snuff in the ring. Let me rephrase that...

Human beings don't hang, drown, electrocute, and strangle defenseless animals because they aren't up to snuff in the ring.

What Vick and his pals have done is indefensible and barbaric. I don't care what culture you're from. If you get enjoyment from torturing dogs, you're on the opposite end of the "good human being" spectrum. Being a scum bag has nothing to do with race. It's not a race issue. And I find it pretty amazing, not to mention pretty scary, to think that some people are completely oblivious to this.

When you blindly defend the indefensible, you lose any credibility you had. In the case of "Starbury," it was probably very little anyway.

We Was Robbed!!!

It was a garbage goal. It was a garbage win. Or in this case...a draw.

No doubt about it, Liverpool deserved the 3 points Sunday against Chelsea. A win would've made us, along with Manchester City, one of only two perfect teams in the Premier League.

Down 1-nil in the 60th minute, Chelsea's Florent Malouda took a dive at the top of the 18, Steve Finnan was called for the phantom foul, and Frank Lampard converted to PK to notch it at 1's. Complete bullocks.

Not that it'll help us in the standings, but referee Rob Styles has officially apologized for the call, and he'll be suspended from calling any games this weekend. I guess I'll give the guy props for that. Still sucks, though.

It could be worse, however. We could be Manchester Utd (hehe). TWO POINTS AFTER 3 GAMES!?!?!?

Here's what's on tap for this week in futbol....

A slew of International Friendlies on tap WED, most of which can be seen on FSC:

12:30 Brasil v. Algeria
2:30 Sweden v. USA
5:00 England v. Germany (tape delay)

Lots of injuries in that Germany / England match. Piper's Pub will be showing my beloved:

3:00 Italy v. Hungary

Premier League Gameweek 4 action this w/e on FSC:

SAT: 10:00am, Arsenal v. Manchester City. Man City's 1st blemish??
SAT 12:00pm, Everton v. Blackburn
SUN 11:00am, Man Utd v. Tottenham. Two desperate squads.

Liverpool will be on Setanta Sports at 7:40am Saturday, taking on promoted Sunderland. Piper's Pub will be open bright 'n early, but unfortunately, I'll not be around.

Serie A underway this weekend on FSC as well, starting with the return of Juventus:

SAT: 2:30pm, Juventus v. Livorno
SUN: 9:00am, Inter Milan v. Udinese
SUN: 2:30pm, AS Roma v. Palermo

And finally, my beloved Toronto FC will be making a rare appearance on a national telecast, taking on DC United...Saturday, 7:30pm on FSC. All we are saaaayyying...is give us a goal!!!

No. Seriously.

The "Nation's only Bon Jovi / Journey tribute band," aptly named "Bon-Journey" will be playing tonight at Moondogs in Blawnox, PA.

From the Bon-Journey MySpace page:

"No two bands have captured the emotion and energy of youth to become the soundtrack to the lives of numerous generations as Bon Jovi and Journey."

Only in Pittsburgh.

I know I'll come off a bit pompous here, but oh well.

Ooze to the Finish

Quote of the Day...Steeler HC Mike Tomlin, after a reported poor week of practice which culminated in a pre-season home loss to Green Bay:


"We don't want to ooze to the finish."

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So after Vick pleads guilty Friday, I bet you'll still hear some dopes blindly defend him.

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Shawne Merriman has said he's abandoning that stupid, idiotic sack dance. Probably a smart move.

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Doesn't look like I'm the only one embarrassed by the new Steeler mascot, Steely McBeam. Mascots may be nice for expansion teams, but not for proud franchises like our beloved Steelers.

Go here to sign a petition to oust McBeam.

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And finally...for your footie news, and Mancester United laugh-in of the day:

Another draw for Man Utd Wednesday, leaving them with only 2 points after 2 games. Worse yet...already minus Rooney, the Mancs will be without all-world Christiano Ronaldo this Sunday against their in-city rival Manchester City. Appears Ronaldo got a straight red against Portsmouth, and then whined about it (hehe Jess!!!).

After Liverpool takes down the Blues Sunday, and another Man U draw, we'll be +3 on your arse with a game in hand!!!!!

Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga

Really loving this album...

LOVING IT, I say...

(left click to play; right click to download)
:: Spoon - The Underdog ::

If you go over to Merge and purchase the vinyl version, they'll also set you up with a coupon to download the mp3's, which includes a free 22 minute EP called Get Nice! Nice!

EPL After 1, All is Good, Not so for TFC

The rest of the "Big 4" played Sunday, and compounded with a Liverpool win from Saturday, I'm pretty pleased.

Chelsea and Arsenal both got 3 points at home, but both struggled against 2 lower-end squads. Chelsea was tied at half with newly promoted Birmingham City, got a Michael Essien goal early in the 2nd, then held on for the W. Bad news for the Blues (and my fantasy squad)...Essien limped off later with an injury, and his status for Wed's match at Reading is uncertain. Good news for the Blues...they did get Didier Drogba back from injury, and new signings Claudio Pizarro and Florent Malouda both found the net.

Arsenal and GK Jens Lehmann escaped embarrassment with 2 late goals, the 2nd from Alexander Hleb in the 89th minute, to give the Gunners a 2-1 victory. Lehmann basically did his best Garo Yepremium impersonation on a botched clearing attempt, and gave Birmingham a 1-Nil lead 52 seconds in.


The Mancs weren't as fortunate. A Nil-Nil draw at home against Reading?!?!? Sorry, Jess (I lie...I'm NOT SORRY!!!) Kudos to Reading's GK Marcus Hahnemann. He was an absolute beast. Worse yet for Man Utd...Wayne Rooney broke a foot and will be our @ 2 months. Carlos Tevez...time to see if you were worth all the hassle.

So Chelsea and Man U will both be back in EPL action Wednesday, with road games at Reading and Portsmouth, respectively. Arsenal and Liverpool will both play in Champions League qualifiers. I'm real interested to see how Rafa plays this one against French side, Toulouse. Next week's match back at Anfield is EVERYTHING. At least for now...

Toronto FC. That's another story. A 3-nil loss to New York, and I can't remember the last time we scored a goal. I'm sad to say, I'm officially conceding any hopes for a playoff run.

Essential Football Viewing For the Upcoming Week:

Wed 8/15 - Chelsea vs. Reading - 3:00pm FSC

Sat 8/18 - Newcastle vs. Aston Villa - Noon FSC

Sat 8/18 - Steelers at Washington - NFL Preseason

Sun 8/19 - Manchester City vs. Manchester United - 8:30am - PIPER'S PUB!!!!!

Sun 8/19 - Chelsea vs. Liverpool - 11:00am - PIPER'S PUB!!!!!

Sun 8/19 - Argentine League - River Plate vs. San Lorenzo - 5:00pm

Also, on Sunday, and I've got no clue as to where / or if I can watch it...the Italian Super Cup kicks off, with my beloved Inter Milan vs. AS Roma. Appears GolTV no longer covers Italian Soccer, so this is gonna suck.

If you get served...

and you serve it back, then it's on.

Gerrard's Game Winner

Stevie G. Here it is...

I believe he's saying:

GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!