...randomness surrounding Guided by Voices, Robert Pollard, and other great indie rock bands; a quasi objective look at "my" sporting teams; the random horror film; plus other crap as we see fit...all with a Pittsburgh based feel.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Fortuna Dusseldorf

Maybe the best thing that I could have happened going into tonight's tit peeling of the Canes...

My German footballing club, Fortuna Dusseldorf is getting promoted!!

Goodbye 3Liga, hello 2.Bundesliga

Video Evidence (go to 1:35 mark)

Next year, Reading, next year...

Bill Cowher, Turncoat, Hand Cranks His Horn

A guy that grew up in the Burgh, then cheered on the Pens throughout his long tenure with the Steelers, will be stroking the Hurricane Horn tonight in Carolina.

That's a shame Bill. I used to like you.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

I must break you.

courtesy of D Tirpak (and from whomever he found it). Thanks dude!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Game 7 Smackdown

Apologies to everyone who wanted to see this series end with a fantastic Game 7 last night. Well...it was fantastic for some, but maybe it wasn't the culmination that the casual hockey fan wanted. Screw the casual hockey fan. We could care less. As the mighty EC suggested yesterday, certain things get revealed over a full series. Some people who don't pay as much attention may be stunned by some of these revelations...

Revelation #1:

Varlamov just isn't that good. Sure, certain goalies can come outta nowhere, play outta their minds for a time, maybe get some fortuitous bounces. But Varlamov is obviously better suited to wear the baseball cap at the end of the bench while the real players settle it on the ice. The problem with Washington is, Jose Theodore isn't a real player either.

We've seen a couple of these posers in the Burgh. Does Johan Hedberg ring a bell? How about Ty Conklin, who still can't unseat a washed up Chris Osgood in Detroit?

The real Marc-Andre Fleury stood up last night, snagging Ovechkin's cherry-picking breakaway at the 3 minute mark, and basically sending the Caps into a never ending spiral of embarrassment. Bottom line:

Fleury > Varlamov

Revelation #2:

Someone on the Verizon Center maintenance staff is gonna have a fun time cleaning off all the puck marks on the glass, courtesy of Alexander Semin. This is the same guy, who last October, remarked:
"What's so special about [Crosby]? I don't see anything special there. Yes, he does skate well, has a good head, good pass. But there's nothing else."
"I think that if you take any player, even if he is "dead wood," and start promoting him, you'll get a star."
Alexander Semin = Clueless - A Shot

Revelation #3:

Well, not really a revelation to EC since we've been preaching it all along, but the argument over Ovie vs. Crosby is really no longer an argument. See...you have to look beyond the numbers, beyond the box score, and actually watch these 2 play their respective games. And for the first time, we got a heavy dosage of eye witness accounts as they both went at it for a full series.

You have to look past the over-the-top celebrations, because acting like a clown after you score doesn't earn you extra points. I guess this also puts a fork in Michael Wilbon's theory of Washington will win because "Ovechkin just wants it more."

NBC, Versus, and the NHL would like for you to believe that these two are equals. There is no longer a comparison.

#87 plays all 200 feet. #8 plays about 120 (except of course, when he's trying to injure people).
#87 backchecks. #8 watches.
#87 excels at all facets of the game. #8 is only interested when he has the puck.
#87 is leading his team to the Eastern Conference Finals for the 2nd year. #8 will be watching.

#87 is a role model who plays the game the way it's meant to be played (The "Crosby Cries" contingent needs a new hate mantra, btw). He's complete class when he speaks, and credits his opponents after games.

#8 is a punk; a cheapshot artist who speaks out of the side of his mouth. Seeing that Gonch made it back for Game 7, you can also say that Ovie failed at his attempt-to-injure hit in Game 4. He also failed mightily at his run at Geno last night...

Revelation #4:

If he wins the Norris Trophy, as many people are predicting:

Mike Green = worst Norris Trophy winner ever?

Revelation #5:

Whether it was referee calls, bad ice at the Igloo, or (Lord help us) Yanni...

Caps fans sure do cry a lot.

As always, EC highly recommends Pensblog for a complete breakdown of the game.

The Pens success in the series was much more than Sid, Geno, and Fleury. Major props:

  • The entire 3rd line of Staal, Cookie, and TK. Staal is simply the best 3rd line shut-down centerman in the NHL, and a great PKiller. Cookie was hitting everything that moved last night.
  • Scuds = SOLID. Consistently the Pens best blue-liner all season.
  • Miro Satan. HOLY CRAP?!?! Miro Satan is playing well!!!
  • CRAIG EFFIN ADAMS!!! Thanks Chicago! This guy's a beast!
  • Billy Guerin...the sniper Sid needs.
  • Max. Always playing on the edge, didn't take 1 single penalty the entire series. Playing out of position on Geno's wing, this guy was the perfect medicine for Petey Sykora's milk carton disappearance.
  • Fedotenko. Game's #2 Star last night has been solid in every facet, and is a proven playoff performer.
  • Tanger. Love it when this guy is playing with confidence.
  • Eaton. Block another shot you crazy bastard!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Business as Usual

Empties Crushed is simply not worried about tonight's looming Game 7.

In most cases, the better team wins in a 7 game series. Dirty intent-to-injure hits aside, usually all other things such as puck bounces and referee whistles even out...and the better team wins. The Pens have been the better team for the majority of this series. They've been the better team in 5 of the 6 games, and Game 2 wasn't that much tilted in the Caps favor.

Simeon Varlamov is hot, and has been incredibly fortunate thus far. Let's remember he's the same goaltender that gave up 6 goals to our Baby Pens from Wilkes-Barre earlier in the season. If he is SO good, why did he come into the playoffs as the back-up to Jose Theodore?! Varlamov has been exposed in the past 3 games, and I'll take 4 goals on 42 shots as was the case on Monday. Marc-Andre Fleury had a bad Game 6, no doubt. But he is the better goalie with the supreme pedigree, and I expect a dominant performance tonight. The Flower will be on top of his game. Don't you worry.

The one thing that concerns me is Disco Dan's incessant rotation of the blue-liners. Ever since Serge was intentionally injured by Ovie, and we've done the 7 d-men thingy, it appears there's a different duo on the ice every other shift. #55's injury has hurt them more from this standpoint, because let's face it...Serge wasn't playing that great to begin with. But I like the consistency and chemistry of the following pairs:

Scuds / Gill
Tanger / Eaton

If Serge dresses tonight to QB the PP only, let's let Boucher play with Orpik and roll the dice. It's gotta be better than mix-matching these guys non-stop. Throw Gonch out for the PP. That's my sofa coach tip for the night.

The Pens role out the two best players in the world every other shift, and both Sid and Geno will put the Beloved on their backs tonight. Ovie will try to put the Caps on his back, but he'll be stuck cherry picking at Centre Ice, while the Pens fore checkers continue to wear down a soff Capital D.

Don't fret, kids:


Monday, May 11, 2009

Bruce Boudreau agrees with Empties Crushed

After game 5, when asked about Alexander Ovechkin's performance, the Capital HC had this to say about his "star" player:
"Well he was really good when he had the puck."

hehe :)

Saturday, May 09, 2009

The biggest pile of steaming turd in the NHL...

Bruce Boudreau on the intent to injure hit from Alex Ovechkin:
"He's trying to hit him with his shoulder and the rest of your body, you can't leave it somewhere, it's got to follow you. That's what happened. He led with his shoulder. Simple."
He led with his shoulder. Mmmm....

Sure looks that way to me. Now since the league won't suspend the "superstar," it risks even more injuries as I wouldn't be surprised if the Pens take matters into their own hands. And I can't blame them if they do. Eff it. I want them to. Reports are Sergei might be done for the season. So...why not have the trash bag Ovie join him. And if Ovie goes down, I will cheer my ass off.

It was only a matter of time before this dilrod injured someone. AO's interpretation of forechecking is looking for defenseless players with their heads down so he can run at them. Grind in the corners to dig out a lose puck? Don't look for Ovie. He wants no part of it. The only hits this ass bag applies is when the puck is already gone.

Zero respect. Great scorer. Classless DICK.

Friday, May 08, 2009


Sorry, folks. Parks closed. The Moose outside should've told you.

A little scare earlier in the week, but apparently all is OK. Empties Crushed is officially listed, as always, "day-to-day." When we say scare, we are not referring to the Pens / Caps series. Some close friends may not what this is about, but moving on...

The Pens absolutely dominated Game 3. They also dominated Game 1, and Game 2 was a toss up. We are not worried. Like this guy....

We want to the thank Pensblog, where most of these photos come from. And whoever hasn't been paying attention to the mighty Pensblog simply needs to get a clue. Varlamov has been flopping around with a horseshoe stuck up his sphincter for the 1st 3 games, and that's been the difference.

If Versus would pause from the handjobs to AO for just a second, maybe they would realize that Mr. Alex only plays two-thirds of the ice. How convenient that must be. It is quite clear to any knowledgeable unbiased hockey fan that he is nowhere near the all-around player #87 is. Celebrating like a jack-ass, and calling attention to yourself is not a substitute for playing the defensive zone, back checking, and grinding in the corners. The only time you see Alex in the corners is when he's trying to take a cheapish run at someone....

Next time you see Ovechkin on the ice during a PK or when the Caps have the lead late in the game will be the first. Sorry. I've said it before, and anyone with two eyes can see how obvious it is during this series. AO is a great scorer...but not even in the same class as Sid when you consider all facets.

Moving on...

News circulated that there was a death threat on a message board to Ovechkin yesterday. Nice try, Caps. It was a 17 year old kid who lives 3 hours East of Pittsburgh...which anyone who has a map can see he lives closer to DC. Let's call the FBI! Again, we can't take credit, but Pensblog had an interesting tidbit on this...

"There's been a tiny tidbit of news circulating that
Ovechkin received a death threat from a Penguins fan.

This afternoon the FBI stepped in
and temporarily placed Ovechkin into the witness protection program.

According to a source, he was relocated to the Caps defensive zone,
somewhere the source said 'he would never be found.'"

Hilarious Stuff.

Maybe this will upset AO and force him to take another run at someone?

editor's note: of course we don't advocate "terroristic" threats. One very dumb kid or one Caps fan trying to have some fun...seems it was blown out of proportion, no? Blame the refs. That's what the Flyers and Bruce Boudreau would do :)

Friday, May 01, 2009

Matt and Kim - "Lessons Learned"

LOVE this video...

As I'd said...if the Pens win the Cup, I'm going to recreate this video in the streets of Pittsburgh. Who's coming with me?