...randomness surrounding Guided by Voices, Robert Pollard, and other great indie rock bands; a quasi objective look at "my" sporting teams; the random horror film; plus other crap as we see fit...all with a Pittsburgh based feel.

Friday, June 12, 2009


Yeah...this phrase gets tossed out a lot. I'm guilty of it. "This play is EVERYTHING!" "This game is EVERYTHING!" But this time...I really really REALLY mean it. It's safe to say that this game will be the biggest game these eyes have ever seen (if I can make it until tonight). I've been fortunate to live thru 6 Superbowl victories. I was in attendance as a little kid at the '79 World Series. I've seen two Cup winners, and been in attendance at a multitude of Penguin playoff games through the years. But tonight defines EVERYTHING.

Superbowls are fun, don't get me wrong. We're all die hard black-n-gold Koolaid drinking Stiller fans (or many of the EC faithful are). But the nature of this playoff run...the every-other-night, live-on-the-edge-of-your-seat, 8 week, playoff beard growing grind...is beyond compare. As a fan whose heart pumps with every shot on net...it's tiring, it's grueling, and hopefully after tonight...it will be rewarding. With the talent on this team, we're all hopeful there will be more opportunities. But you just never know. After the '91 and '92 Cup raisings, everyone took it for granted that the Pens would be there every year. Le Magnifique never even saw another Final.

The other special ingredient this particular team has is the close connection, and love we have for the players. Marc-Andre has had his lapses, no doubt. But how can you not pull for this kid with the never-ending smile? Geno and his broken English. His parents you want to hug. Max Talbot's "superstar" antics....who doesn't want to party with that dude? Scuds and Brooks, laying their faces on the line every time they go down to block a puck. Fedotenko's forever rosy cheeks. The Staal line. CRAIG FUCKIN ADAMS. And Sid...the jealous ire of opponents for not only his superior skill on the ice, but his professionalism and leadership that 29 other GM's and fan bases would drool to have wear their sweater. We love this team like no other.

Think back a couple years ago when we were close to losing the Penguin organization because of some back-handed greasy politicians (Fast Eddie Cheesesteak, stand up Sir). Add in the Game 7, winner-take-all dynamic. Throw in a great opponent in the Red Wings. Stir in the fact that #81 on Detroit played for this team in last year's final, only to later say, "Detroit gives me the best shot to win a Cup," makes this single game extra extra special. I couldn't dream of a better picture than seeing Sid shake Hossa's hand after this win.

As fans, we have been there every game...celebrating, dancing, mourning, yelling, eating, boozing, rehydrating. There are moments we'll all remember...
  • Max giving the "Shsh" sign to the Neanderthal Flyer fans as he skated off the ice in Game 6 of Round 1, which preceded the Penguino comeback and demise of Philly for another year.
  • Ovie taking his cheap run at Gonch, and the hatred that ensued (my section at the Igloo almost saw me lose a gasket that night).
  • Game 7's most gratifying tit-peeling of the Capital.
  • The Carolina sweep, with horn jerking, turncoat Cowher in attendance.
  • Johan Franzen flopping all over the ice, holding his ear every time he's touched.
  • Scuderi's big save in Game 6.
But should the mighty Pen win tonight, this two month frenzy will be forever known for that initial moment when our captain hoists the Cup. There is no better feeling, nothing more rewarding in all of sport. Tears will flow. You will remember that moment...where you were, who you were with, the sight of the goal lamp spinning, what you were shoving down your face...for your entire life.

Someone recently asked me if I would trade in a Steeler Superbowl for this game...for this here Stanley Cup. Superbowl XLIII would be tough to trade in, personally. And the only reason is because I have a close friend who just picked up his Superbowl ring. But Superbowl XL, Cowher's shining moment and the one we "won for The Bus"....HELL YES. I'd take a huge dump on that Lombardi Trophy if it meant a Lord Stanley celebration tonight.


Thursday, June 11, 2009

Pucker Pucker Pucker

There may not be a tighter sphincter in the universe right now.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

4, 3, 2, 1

Only one song is capable of containing all of the pumpt-ness that this town is feeling...

Play It

If you don't know that this thing is going seven games, I feel sorry for you.


What a great time to play our worst performance since the Valentine's Day Massacre. You remember, the night we got crushed (again) by the almighty Maple Leaf. The better team won the game. We sucked. Fleury was terrible. Detroit is awesome. Complete embarrassment by the Pens. No excuses.

But what's also embarrassing is the flop fest observed by NHL fans Saturday night. And, sorry, I'm not getting on the "Pens lost their cool" bandwagon just because a bitter Edzo Olsuck says so. What was called a slash in Game 5, was not called a slash in Game 4. After it went 2-Nil, the refs finally had the ambition to call everything in sight. And if you have a problem with "Crosby diving," such as the shout was after Game 4 when Maltby hacked him, then you better be the same person yelling at Zetterberg and Datsyuk for similar dives in Game 5. The only difference was that the refs somehow turned a blind eye in Game 4. But every time a red jersey flopped in Game 5, it was called. The Talbot slash was old school hockey. You slash our star, and the refs don't want to do anything about it, then expect the same treatment for your stars. That's how it works when you have to take matters into your own hands. The hits by Malkin and Dupuis weren't called penalties in Games 1-4. They're definitely not called on Kronwall when he leaves his feet every time he tries to check someone.

I respect Zetterberg and Datsyuk as players. But one guy I'll never respect is this fucking assbag...

I know, there's people who don't like Roberts. Fine. But the delay between when Franzen gets "punched" and the "I just got shot" reaction is embarrassing. This clown does the same thing every time he gets touched, and he's been doing it all series. The only time he actually wants a piece of someone is when their back is to him, when he can raise his stick to defend himself, or when one of the linesmen is in the way. FIND A BLOUSE, JOHAN.

Also embarrassing, the fact that Hossa hasn't done a thing all series. Then he runs Garon into the boards, before skating away like the coward he is.

Rant over.

LET'S GO PENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 08, 2009

Let the Right One In

Getting the mind off hockey (and hatred of all things Franzen) for a day, and why not? Saw this last night, and I believe it may be my favorite film of 2008, passing up other contenders, The Wrestler, Milk, Doubt, and The Visitor.

I'll take it one step further, and say it's my favorite vampire movie ever, including the classic Nosferatu. Y'all know my fancy for horror films, but I don't think I'd classify this as a classic horror film. To do that, might be short changing it to non-fans of the genre. Incredibly stylish, without the over-blown Hollywood production, and very poetic. Chilling at times. Do not miss...

Available in an English dubbed version, which was the one I saw.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Bandwagon Fans?

Something came to me this morning as I read the interwebs collective thought on sports. Apparently only one team in the North America has true fans that deserve to have their team.

I've come to this simple truth based on every sports blog/tweet/rival fanbase that tell me one of two things about championship caliber teams and their hometown supporters.

1.) If a team does well and attracts new spectators that were not previously devoted to the team, that city is nothing but a bunch of bandwagon fans that blow in the wind.


2.) If a team does well, but still fails to sell-out it's arena and/or get massive attention from it's local residents (also known as "bandwagon fans," see above) then that team doesn't deserve to have a professional sports team, because they won't support that team.

Logically, that means the only way for a town to truly deserve to have a team and support them properly is for two things to happen;

1.) That team sucks on a yearly basis.


2.) That teams still sells out on a nightly basis, with thousands more clamoring to buy seats.

With these two conditions set, only one sports organization is supported by true, loyalist fans.

The rest of us can go piss off, apparently.

By remembering this little nugget of truth, you can save yourself hours of internet reading time, when your team makes it's playoff run or plans it's championship parade route.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Tired. Old. Legs.

3 reasons the Pens will win this Series. Detroit is getting dominated late in games, and that trend will continue. Others...
  • GENO
  • Lidstrom looks ordinary
  • Osgood has been revealed
  • Hossa chokes once again
  • Staal, TK, Cooke finally getting rewarded for their hard work
  • Special Teams
LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep banging these guys, and this thing is OURS!!!!!!!!!


If you think this series is over, you're a fool! Today we march on enemy ground with a single goal, not to win this war, just one of it's seven battles.

Everyone needs to step their game up, quit the bitching, and get focused.

Do It!

Your sporting calendar should include at least two of the following...
Honduras at USA - ESPN(2?)
L.A. Galaxy at T.F.C. - Somewhere in Canada
141st Belmont Stakes - ABC

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Mama Said Knock You Out!

Well, Mr. Garnett proved valuable for EC after game one, but tonight's contest may need a little more.

If Iron Mike can't get you pumped, it's time to grab a skirt and rent "Marley and Me."

Do It!

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Red Wings 2, Pens 1

Not only in the series, but also in blatant miscalls.

The Pens got away with having 6 skaters on the ice for @ 20 seconds last night. In games 1 and 2, Detroit got away with two blatant puck-in-the-crease coverings by Zetterberg. By my tally, we're still due one.

Speaking to the refs...

For the first time in the series, the refs knew how to blow the whistle and cross their arms. Mike Whinecock doesn't like this. Whinecock wants the rules to be different in the post season. He not only has an incredibly talented team, but they are also very effective at the art of obstruction. He also knows his PK units are a joke.

If interference continues to be called as it should, the Pens have the upper hand. If the cry fest by Babcock last night has any effectiveness (other than showing his true colors), the Pens could be in trouble.

Other notes from Game 3:
  • Chris Kunitz was blasting everything in Red last night
  • Niklas Kronwall isn't nearly as effective when his skates are on the ice.
  • MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Sid was again a stud on face-offs. I also bet the wanker Versus crew ignored this fact.
  • Hal Gill is desperately out of his element in this series. Get Boucher out there for him.
  • MAF, welcome back buddy.
  • Maltby = Turd
  • As much as Babcock's "I invented the game" personality is wearing on me, I do respect how he went out of his way to rescind his stupid comment about 87.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

These are the Moments that Define a Man's Being...

In trying times like this, we can only call upon one man's inspiration to carry us through...

Thanks, Kevin.

Let's Do It!

Pierre Larouche > Pierre McGuire

Well...one is a former offensive stud for the mighty Penguino, who at one time was the youngest player ever to score 50 goals (pre-Gretzk). The other is a douche.

Maybe I spoke too soon the other night after hearing McGuire's prediction of the Pens winning the series. I simply thought, since Pierre McGuire is the smartest hockey mind on the planet, that what he says must be true. After an 0-2 deficit, I couldn't help but second guess my faith in Pierre McTurd.

But there's reason for optimism. The Pens have not played that bad. Actually, they played well enough to win at least one of the first two games. Not to take anything away from Detroit...they're the best team in the NHL. But with a bounce or two, a call here or there, and this thing could easily be 1-1. It's not, so we move on.

The real reason for optimism...Pierre Larouche called it today on ESPN Radio. The Pens will not only win tonight. They will win the series. Keep battling. Keep up the pressure. Keep getting pucks on net. Osgood will break. Or at least dive...again.

This series is far from over people.

NOTE to the NHL:

By rule, players aren't allowed to cover up pucks in the crease. That would be a penalty shot.