...randomness surrounding Guided by Voices, Robert Pollard, and other great indie rock bands; a quasi objective look at "my" sporting teams; the random horror film; plus other crap as we see fit...all with a Pittsburgh based feel.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Hate Crosby Club

In order to be a card carrying member, you must abide by the following Hate Crosby Club Constitution:
  • Any sense or sight of frustration seen with Sidney Crosby must be related to the #1 mantra of the Hate Crosby Club: "Crosby Cries!"
  • Any hint of Crosby being cordial or well spoken should be excused as Crosby being "bland", "boring", or "well-trained."
  • As a member of the Hate Crosby Club, you must automatically like Alexander Ovechkin. If a pro-Crosby idiot speaks to Ovie's repeat offender status or forced celebrations, the answer must always refer to Ovie's "passion."
  • There are no better three syllables in the English language than "Cros-by Sucks." You must learn how to chant this, and you must practice at home with your kids. Breed the hate.
  • When approached about Crosby's record of winning a Stanley Cup, the only acceptable response is: "Bettman fixed it so Crosby would win." (note: the board of directors of The Hate Crosby Club are busy at work figuring out an excuse to use for Crosby winning a Gold medal. We will update these rules as necessary and as soon as possible).
  • Never forget your forefather: Mr. Ken Hitchcock. Despite currently being jobless, never forget that it was Ken Hitchcock who started the original Crosby Dives Campaign. He should be held in high esteem (despite being jobless), because we would not be here without him. Mr. Hitchcock likes to eat (despite being jobless), so any donations you can spare should be sent directly through the Hate Crosby Club. Also, a portion of your yearly dues will be dispersed directly to the Feed Ken Hitchcock Fund.
Lastly, and most importantly: while watching Crosby play, you may get confused. Resist the temptation of being mesmerized by skill or talent. Your mission, as is the mission of the Hate Crosby Club, is not to admire hockey skill. Your mission is to hate.


TB said...

I don't hate the guy, but he was barely alive this series at a goal and four helpers over seven games.

Oh, and there was that all-too-easy fall tonight when Gill brushed him gently...

TB said...
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gary said...

I hope you're not referring to the time Gill was lumbering around w/o a stick? If Sid embellished in this series...kudos for adjusting. It was consistently rewarded, shamefully for the NHL.

Yes...poor performance from Crosby. But you'd have to go way down the pecking order as a reason we lost.

TB said...

I saw three different hi-lite packs in addition to seeing it in the game and all of them said he either embellished or dove. I don't expect you to acknowledge that, but to the slightly more impartial, it was pretty obvious that a guy with tree trunks for legs doesn't land on his ass from an open palm touching his chest with next to no force.

As for Fleury, he's back to his normal big game form.

Finally, I do find the whole Crosby rant funny. You do get that if you're that good, you're going to take some, right? See "A-Rod, Yankees".

gary said...

Being honest here TB...not just my typical homer self...I'm not sure of the play we're talking about. I trust ya that it happened, just haven't watched much highlights, and I may have missed it from our seats.

The one highlight I saw was Gonchar getting skated around like traffic cone on the short handed goal. I puked...and couldn't watch any more.

Fleury's getting a lot of flack down here, and just like the QB position in football...he's always the first and easiest to blame. We definitely had the bad MAF last night, and he's been more brutal than good most of the year (the 1st goal was atrocious). But he had a lot of help as our blue line stunk this year.

I get the whole Crosby thing...just like I never understood why people don't like dudes like Jeter, Brady, or Manning. (btw...I wasn't aiming the Club at you directly...but glad you liked it :)


TB said...

I didn't suspect you are as there are a pile of elements there that I don't subscribe to. That, and you do know I have a Crosby Canada jersey. :)

Good examples though - those guys are all hated because they're so hyped and they're winners, and maybe seen as a little corporate. See some parallels? You would if you lived here with all the Tim Horton's and Reebok ads!