...randomness surrounding Guided by Voices, Robert Pollard, and other great indie rock bands; a quasi objective look at "my" sporting teams; the random horror film; plus other crap as we see fit...all with a Pittsburgh based feel.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

What's the Headline today New York?

Rangers Getting Swept, Down 3-0
Fans miffed as to why

Must be the Refs fault?
Or is it Roger Clemens' fault?
Can't be that we try to buy players and suck...no...management's fault?
Wait...that's the Yankees, which must mean it's Torre's fault...
Must be Steinbrenner's fault?
Mindy McCready's fault?
Jeter's fault...no...I meant A-Rod's fault?
It's the salary cap's fault?
Billy Crystal's fault?
Babe Ruth's fault?
Isaiah Thomas, or Larry Brown's fault?
MSG, that piece of crap building's fault?

It could be Sean Avery's fault?
Na...more like Jagr's fault. Shanahan's fault? Drury's fault? No...those all sound too much like "our fault."

It's the Islanders' fault. Or better...Rick DiPietro and his 15 year contract's fault?
Marty Brodeur's fault?
Willie Randolph?
Jose Reyes?
Mookie Wilson?
Bill Buckner? Wait. no. he...helped us....back to....

Maybe it's Colton Orr's fault? Does he have a pussy? Does Tom Renney have a pussy? Do they both have pussies? Maybe Avery wish he had a pussy?

Actually...when you really boil it down, it's the media's fault - the local media, the national media, the regional media, the global media, the universal-outer-space (not including Pluto) media - the NHL's Fault - Gary Bettman's fault - NBC's fault - Vs's fault - ESPN's fault - Barry Melrose's fault - TSN's fault - Don Cherry's fault. All of Canada's fault? The Northwest Territories' fault? The rest of the "Original 6's" fault? The Winnipeg Jets', the Quebec Nordiques', the Hartford Whalers', and Brass Bonanza's fault?

What about that dude driving the Zamboni? Did you notice the dude doing the ice in the 2nd intermission was different than the dude during the 1st intermission? I think he buried a Bruins jersey under the ice while he went around the first corner.

The organ player's fault? Maybe the Penguins trainer messed with the game pucks in-between periods? You know...replaced good pucks with bad pucks that gave the Pens an unfair advantage?

There must be a reason we're getting our man-boobs handed to us on on a platter. And it can't possibly be that we're simply inferior opponents. Are we suppose to accept the fact that we're losers? That's just not reasonable, people!! When one of you fellow Ranger fans figures it out, and finds a good excuse, give us a shout. Until then...this is (insert dumb ass New York sports journalist here), signing off...

Go Rangers. Long live Woody Allen.


gbvh said...

to be fair, when you out-shoot a team 39-17, you've done more than enough to deserve a win, no?
i know in hockey half the shots are really dump-ins, but they more than doubled the pens' shot total -- pretty significant on both ends of the ice.

how bout those stars!?

gary said...

But that would sound too much like they're blaming themselves...for not capitalizing on the opportunities. Not possible, my friend. Blame must be shifted, just not sure where, yet.

A Stars / Pens Final would be sweeeeeeeeeet! (plus that's the Pens best chance at home ice)

gbvh said...

toronto fc on espn tomorrow night?
three game win streak?
where's the love EC?