...randomness surrounding Guided by Voices, Robert Pollard, and other great indie rock bands; a quasi objective look at "my" sporting teams; the random horror film; plus other crap as we see fit...all with a Pittsburgh based feel.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Horror for the Whole Family

I know what you're thinking: Hey G...where's all those fun and exciting horror films you recommend this time of year? I know...I've been lax with a bunch of travel. But that doesn't mean I haven't indulged in my normal horror routine in between the rock n' roll lifestyle weekends.

This Halloween fell on the weekend (that's a Geto Boys lyric for those not down). So you, the wife, and kids need to run down to the local Family Video and get your mitts on some of these nuggets...

I Drink Your Blood (1970)

This grindhouse classic will change your life. I swears. It changed mine. Hippy satanists, meat pies, rabies, a large headed kid, and rat-kabob. This all equals instant classic. It was also the first film ever to be "Rated X" for its violence alone. The DVD is full of extras you'll be sure to enjoy. Rent or buy this now, and make sure that "Rollo Yates" is a household name with your family this Halloween...


I Drink Your Blood and Mr. Vampire III will playing as a double feature at the Andy Warhol Museum THIS Friday, starting at 7:00, as part of the "SuperTrash Film Series." My co-hort Yost tells me that director David Durston will be in attendance. Tickets = $10 cheap

Don't Go In the House (1980)

Memo to parents: Don't burn your kids. Perhaps the best film ever involving a steel room and a flamethrower...

Prince of Darkness (1987)

I'm more of a slasher and zombie fan than I am of the supernatural stuff. But this is one cool film. Highlighted by director John Carpenter's typical creepy music....

The Burning (1981)

Can't blame Harvey Weinstein for wanting to get in on the slasher genre spearheaded by the likes of Halloween and Friday the 13th. It's not as good as either of those two (or a few others for that matter), but The Burning is pure bliss. Yeah, the plot is a familiar one, but who gives a crap? Death by scissors is always interesting, and it's highlighted by some great special effect kill scenes by the master Tom Savini, including the initial burning.

Not only did The Burning launch the careers of the Weinstein Bros, but also that of Jason Alexander and Holly Hunter. No shit.

Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals (1977)

OK...this is one of those films, as you're watching it, you feel a great deal of shame. It's one of those films you don't tell other people that you actually watched. You feel really dirty watching it. So here I am to tell you about it....

Emmanuelle is much more porn than it is horror. Actually, it's everything you could want in a pure exploitation film: lots of nakedness and sex, followed by cannibals eating people. I'm told from a good friend that there's a slew of these "Emmanuelle" films, so if you and the family enjoy this one, maybe you can devote a whole night to her...perhaps during the upcoming holidays.

House On the Edge of the Park (1980)

Unlike other reviewers, I don't believe that Italian director Ruggero Deodato (also known for the 1980 classic Cannibal Holocaust) was trying to capitalize on the Last House on the Left character Krug. Don't be mistaken...this ain't Krug. This is Alex. And Alex likes to rape and pillage (but more rape). Think Disco Krug. Unlike Last House, there's no forced piss-your-pants scenes. But there's a great twist at the end, which I'll let you see for yourself. Oh..and lots of torture and rape stuff. I won't lie...you and your family may feel a little weird after watching this one...

So have a safe and fun Halloween from all of us here at Empties Crushed. I leave you and your family with the greatest "Bastard" scene of all time, from the 1982 chainsaw classic, Pieces...


Jables said...

I Drink Your Blood is on the way to my home as we speak via the great people at UPS.

I never herd of Dont Go In The House but I will keep an eye open for a rental or a torrent.

Prince of Darkness: I call myself somewhat of a HUGE Carpenter fan, but I must admit I have never seen this one....yet. Top 3 Carpenter: Halloween, Assault on Precinct 13, and Christine.

The Burning: A classic. Always a fan of the hedge clippers as a murdering tool. The Burning has probably one of my fave VHS cover art of all time. Love it.

Emanuelle....never herd. Is this part of that soft core porn series?

House on the Edge. LOVE IT!! You may hate me, but I think I like this more than Last House. I will ALWAYS respect Last House more, but House on the Edge is just a blast to watch. It has a lot to do with the most addicting song i ever herd which is played 78 times in this movie.

Pieces!! This just played at Bloor Cinema in Toronto. I had no one to go with. Pissed. The ending is so fucked. I found the high dive into the freshly drained pool to be a bit of a stretch....but I guess we are talking about a movie where numerous pieces of bodys are sewn together, at which time it comes to life and castrates a dude. So the pool thing isn't that far fetched.

Sweet list brah!

gary said...


gbvh said...


so. um. hate to have to ask ... but dear EC, where's the TFC coverage?

gary said...

who is this TFC you speak of? Last saw them on the back of a milk carton, prior to a scheduled trip to NY.

At least Liverpool won :)

gbvh said...

i saw they lost 2-1 vs. arsenal this week.
and it appears they're down 3-1 vs. fulham right now. with clint dempsey scoring the third.

good night irene.