I Want One

Max Talbot's infamous "Ssshhhhhh!" has been imortalized and is now used to ward off the opponent.

I shoulda thought of this...damn.



We love our Max, here.

More jokes (Ovechkin runs himself)

Yes, I'm laughing at a player getting injured. Loudly....



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

To add even more insult to injury, Ovie gets handed his SECOND game misconduct in THREE games. Somewhere, the Hockey Gods are smiling. Colin Campbell and Bettman refuse to do anything about these ridiculous runs this turd makes on a consistent basis, but justice is served as he INJURES HIMSELF!! Absolutely hilarious. And righteous.

Elsewhere in the NHL: Mike Rupp was scoring a hat trick, while Tomas Vokoun was taking a stick to the choppers courtesy his teammate...

Joke

Ovie doing what he does best. Attempting to injure again brings no suspension from the NHL nitwits...

Fight Night

Tonight in MSG should be fun. Gotta admit, I was pretty surprised to see Donald Brashear sheepishly skate away from Eric Godard on Saturday. I suspect Brashear will ditch the purse and try to regain some respect tonight. But we will see.

I was equally not surprised to see Sean Avery act the coward once again. Instead of squaring up with someone, he jumps Fedotenko from behind and starts throwing punches at the back of his head. Game misconduct for Avery. How convenient. Puke:

.

Avery will undoubtedly run and hide again tonight, so get ready to be disappointed.

In other Pittsburgh sports news, per Mike Tomlin, the Steelers plan to "unleash hell in December." Hopefully, "hell" can play CB better than Willie Gay.

All I want for Xmas is a Freedom Tray

Already ordered mines. For reals.

Like Herm Edwards, But More Emotional

GBV - Portland 2004

Thanks to gbvh for the heads up. And thanks to FastAtmosphereSF for posting. Appears there's a few tunes from this show available.

Gonna Never Have To Die / Tropical Robots :



GBV > Alien Ant Farm

Desert Bus

I'm an unapologetic Penn & Teller fan. Whenever I make it out to Vegas, I'll be seeing the stage show. I try to catch all the Bullshit episodes, despite not having Showtime. I've even bought and read the books.

One of the lesser know ventures the duo have undertaken was a failed video game. The game was being produced under the working title of "Penn & Teller: Smoke and Mirrors" and was essentially a collection of mini-games, that covered a variety of Penn & Teller subject material. While the game never saw the store shelves, one of it's mini-games found its way into the deep seedy world of Internet piracy. That game is "Desert Bus".

The game was a response to the then Janet Reno attack on video game violence and detachment from reality. She called for video games to be more realistic, which prompted the making of the most painfully realistic game you could make. As described in the (accurate) Wikipedia article.

The objective of the game is to drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time at a maximum speed of 45mph. The feat requires 8 hours of continuous play to complete, since the game cannot be paused.

The bus contains no passengers, and there is no scenery or other traffic on the road. The bus veers to the right slightly; as a result, it is impossible to tape down a button to go do something else and have the game end properly. If the bus veers off the road it will stall and be towed back to Tucson, also in real time. If the player makes it to Las Vegas, they will score exactly one point. The player then gets the option to make the return trip to Tucson—for another point (a decision they must make in a few seconds or the game ends). Players may continue to make trips and score points as long as their endurance holds out. Some players who have completed the trip have also noted that, although the scenery never changes, a bug splats on the windscreen about five hours through the first trip, and on the return trip the light does fade, with differences at dusk, and later a pitch black road where the player is guided only with headlights.

The game became famous, or infamous, in certain circles for its inane premise and absurd play.

Why discuss Desert Bus? Why now? All fair questions, but ones that can be answered.

Yesterday started the 3rd annual "Desert Bus for Hope" game marathon. A bunch of kids decided a few years back that a multi-day marathon run of Desert Bus was a fitting way to raise money for a charity that supports groups that foster gaming and recreation for "less-fortunate" children. I'm not trying to sell anyone on a charity, just felt it necessary to the story.

"Desert Bus for Hope 1" lasted 4 days and 14 hours, earning them 6 points.
"Desert Bus for Hope 2: Bus Harder" lasted 5 days and 5 hours

Now the group is roughly 14 hours into "Desert Bus for Hope 3" and as for now they hope to go 103 hours of driving a lifeless 16-bit graphic bus down a straight scenic-less road.

I would suggest everyone take a few minutes to check out their website. It's full of good stuff, along with updates to their progress, as well as web cam shots from the bus driver and of the video game itself.

Go those guys.

P.S. Fortuna Dusseldorf, winners! Reading, soon-to-be-winners!

Chris Neil Pummeled

Yeah...he held tough for awhile. But that's what good punching bags do. About the only thing good to come outta last night's game...



I'll give him some props for hanging in with Godard. Although the double arm pump at the end is kinda lame after getting your face bloodied.

Happy Birthday Kim Wilde

If you could spent 5 minutes or 20 minutes with Kim Wilde, your life is better for it.

Dock Ellis and the LSD No-No

This is GREAT!! Perhaps the best video ever created on YouTube. From No Mas TV, and artist James Blagden. Thanks to gbvh for the heads up....

The gig is up...

I, personally, would prefer "Watch Me Jumpstart"

But this works :)

And You Thought The Forward Pass Was Huge...

Every so often, someone comes along and changes the way we look at how a sport can be played. Great men come and change the way the rest of humanity views a sport, and we are all better for it. While we all know of the alley-oop, and west coast offensive, this video below may change gym class races, FOREVER!

You'll speak to kids in twenty years, and tell them of the times you were in school, before this video, and everyone assumed there was only one way to transition in the wheelbarrow race. Those kids will slightly cock their heads and give a listless stare as try to contemplate life before this video. That is how monumental these 19 seconds are to primary schools the world over...



Do you feel that? It's the world changing... evolving... growing. Don't tell me American schools are falling behind. I may have believed the lies before, not now. Not to mention the "And1 Mixed Tape Tour"-esque crowd reaction this move gets. If anything deserves an "OHH BABY!", it's this.

In other news, today is the anniversary of the 1975 of the wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald. If you don't listen to the full song, you're an ass.

Jerome Bettis drops another notch

So, with the recent development of Rashard Mendenhall, it appears The Bus will move down even further on the All-Time Steeler RB list. Remember, compiling and self promotion at the Running Back Position gets you nowhere with EC's official list. So save the stats for the stat dorks. Rather, it is talent and skill which we rank these guys. Points are also deducted for almost fumbling away a Superbowl...

#1) Franco
#2) Willie Parker
#3) Barry Foster
#4) Rocky Bleier
#5) Bam Morris
#6) Rashard Mendenhall
#7) Jerome Bettis

Softball Guy

Since Yost is slacking with Part II, lemme interject with the most hilarious description ever of "Softball Guy." I just watched (actually...listened, there's no moving video) this 4 straight times, laughing my tits off. I used to play a lot of softball. A LOT OF SOFTBALL. Many of you probably know some fellas who've played...or perhaps you've played yourself. This is simply hysterical, and deadly accurate. Warning it's a little long at 8 minutes, but give it the full 8. Trust...

TFC in '09 - Part I

In an exclusive EC three-part series, we examine where the 2009 Toronto FC season went so badly, and what needs to change as we look towards 2010. Today, we’ll examine the now vacant post of head coach, and the two men that held the title ’09. Part II will examine TFC ownership and general manager Mo Johnson. Part III will focus on the TFC roster.

PART I – Head Coach

Looking at the failure that was the 2009 season, much of the blame has been placed squarely on the shoulders of the team’s head coach. While Chris Cummins held the post for a majority of the season, it was with the “interim” tag attached to it, following the departure of John Carver.

Carver’s stint as TFC head coach lasted 39 games spread over two seasons. With TFC’s first coach, Mo Johnson, moving to a general manager-esque position with the team, Carver was able to manage the club to a 28.2 winning percentage. After being fined $750 by MLS for criticizing officials, Carver was conspicuously absent from the bench for the team’s next fixture, and then resigned for the always generic “personal reasons.” With TFC scrambling to quickly find a replacement, the club promoted first assistant coach, Chris Cummins in the lead spot, with his whole zero games management experience behind him.

Under Cummins, the club certainly appeared to become a better defensive club. TFC’s goals against dropped from 1.8GPG to 1.28GPG. However, two glaring issues surmise the Cummins era of TFC; substitutions, and subsequently, late goals allowed, and team cohesion. With Cummins reluctant to go to the bench often, TFC led MLS in goals allowed in the 76th minute and beyond, with 16. The league average was 9.06 goals. Worse still, TFC found the back of the net only twice once a game reached the 76th minute.

Even more surprising is how Toronto games were dictated by scoring first. TFC never lost a game in which they struck first, yet only claimed victory once despite conceding the first goal in 14 fixtures. To say that coaching was a weak spot for TFC in ’09 would be a drastic understatement.

Now that Cummins is gone, the aforementioned Mo Johnson has stated publicly that he wants the next person in the position to have MLS coaching experience. So much so, that people are wondering if will be a requirement of any applicant. With the coaching turnover in MLS so prevalent it would make a McDonald’s manager’s head spin, there are plenty of people that could fill the MLS experience need. However, one name has to quickly shoot towards the top of the list, with the recent news that DC United manager, Tom Soehn, will leave the club after this season, over an apparent unrest with his contract status, While, United certainly had a less-than-desirable season, but Soehn has the experience to coach and win in MLS. The MLS Cup title in ’08 and Supporter’s Shield title in ’07 speak to that. Furthermore, the way Soehn is leaving shows that a serious offer from another club could persuade Soehn to another club in 2010.

Can Mo Johnson and the MLSE ownership group make a respectable offer to bring Soehn, or another successful MLS coach to BMO field? Part II of the series will tackle that and other issues as it related to the front office of TFC.

"Calls Him Fat..."

Mike Leach on Texas Tech getting dominated in last week's game.



I Drink Your Blood tonight.

The requested TFC post coming sometime this weekend.

Fortuna Dusseldorf in 40 minutes, let's go.

Horror for the Whole Family

I know what you're thinking: Hey G...where's all those fun and exciting horror films you recommend this time of year? I know...I've been lax with a bunch of travel. But that doesn't mean I haven't indulged in my normal horror routine in between the rock n' roll lifestyle weekends.

This Halloween fell on the weekend (that's a Geto Boys lyric for those not down). So you, the wife, and kids need to run down to the local Family Video and get your mitts on some of these nuggets...

I Drink Your Blood (1970)

This grindhouse classic will change your life. I swears. It changed mine. Hippy satanists, meat pies, rabies, a large headed kid, and rat-kabob. This all equals instant classic. It was also the first film ever to be "Rated X" for its violence alone. The DVD is full of extras you'll be sure to enjoy. Rent or buy this now, and make sure that "Rollo Yates" is a household name with your family this Halloween...



BTW...

I Drink Your Blood and Mr. Vampire III will playing as a double feature at the Andy Warhol Museum THIS Friday, starting at 7:00, as part of the "SuperTrash Film Series." My co-hort Yost tells me that director David Durston will be in attendance. Tickets = $10 cheap

Don't Go In the House (1980)

Memo to parents: Don't burn your kids. Perhaps the best film ever involving a steel room and a flamethrower...



Prince of Darkness (1987)

I'm more of a slasher and zombie fan than I am of the supernatural stuff. But this is one cool film. Highlighted by director John Carpenter's typical creepy music....




The Burning (1981)

Can't blame Harvey Weinstein for wanting to get in on the slasher genre spearheaded by the likes of Halloween and Friday the 13th. It's not as good as either of those two (or a few others for that matter), but The Burning is pure bliss. Yeah, the plot is a familiar one, but who gives a crap? Death by scissors is always interesting, and it's highlighted by some great special effect kill scenes by the master Tom Savini, including the initial burning.

Not only did The Burning launch the careers of the Weinstein Bros, but also that of Jason Alexander and Holly Hunter. No shit.



Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals (1977)

OK...this is one of those films, as you're watching it, you feel a great deal of shame. It's one of those films you don't tell other people that you actually watched. You feel really dirty watching it. So here I am to tell you about it....

Emmanuelle is much more porn than it is horror. Actually, it's everything you could want in a pure exploitation film: lots of nakedness and sex, followed by cannibals eating people. I'm told from a good friend that there's a slew of these "Emmanuelle" films, so if you and the family enjoy this one, maybe you can devote a whole night to her...perhaps during the upcoming holidays.

Emanuelle E Gli Ultimi Cannibali
by riton23

House On the Edge of the Park (1980)

Unlike other reviewers, I don't believe that Italian director Ruggero Deodato (also known for the 1980 classic Cannibal Holocaust) was trying to capitalize on the Last House on the Left character Krug. Don't be mistaken...this ain't Krug. This is Alex. And Alex likes to rape and pillage (but more rape). Think Disco Krug. Unlike Last House, there's no forced piss-your-pants scenes. But there's a great twist at the end, which I'll let you see for yourself. Oh..and lots of torture and rape stuff. I won't lie...you and your family may feel a little weird after watching this one...



So have a safe and fun Halloween from all of us here at Empties Crushed. I leave you and your family with the greatest "Bastard" scene of all time, from the 1982 chainsaw classic, Pieces...

Only #4?

The city of Gulph's second favorite Pittsburgh bar has made a national list, of the best bars to throw up in.

I'm not sure if it's straight compliment, or a backhanded one. Either way, I'm looking forward to repeat trip.

7 STEPS!

So, opening night of the NBA. I'm not a big fan, but there is nothing else on, so what the hell...

Five minutes in, I get this.



On second count, it wasn't five steps, it was seven. How does anyone get into this?

Monday Picks

The five can't lose picks of the day. (Yesterday 4-1; Overall 4-1)

NFL: Philadelphia -7.5 over Washington - Do you even think Zorn wants to win a game? They club tries to force him into quitting, but he'd rather collect the paychecks. He's going to be gone at season's end, while the Eagles need to redeem themselves from that humiliation last week. Monday night rout.

Championship League: Reading +140 over Leicester - It's time for a turnaround for the royals. Reading hasn't tasted defeat on Monday yet this season, and it isn't changing now. Bonus play, take the over (2.5).

NHL: Anaheim (-180) over Toronto - Leafs are terrible.

NHL: New York Islanders and Montreal over (5.5) - Scoring is up in the league on Mondays, and the over defense in this game will be poor.

NBA Pre-Season: Washington and Dallas under (205) - Mavericks have no shooting presence thus far, and it's the pre-season.

Sunday Picks

The five can't lose picks of the day. (My kneecaps and I can not be held responsible if you do lose with these picks)

NFL: New York Jets -6 over Oakland - Forget about last weekend, it doesn't erase the last 3 years. The is a perfect bounce back game for New York. They'll roll.

NFL: Chicago (pick 'em) over Cincinnati - Ohio can go back to sleep and wait for the Cavs' season to start. The Bengals are not good, they were just hot for a short while, that's over. Chicago is the better team, you'll see it in a few hours.

NFL: New Orleans -6.5 over Miami - Last time the fish faced a dominant quarterback with a potent offense their defense was on the field for about 15 minutes, and they still lost... easily. If you want to be a little daring, take the over (48) as well.

MLB: Anaheim and New York Yankees under 9.5 - That field is going to be soft and Pettite take the mound for the 'keys. Despite large run totals thus far in the series, pitching will dominate and runs will come at a premium.

England FA Cup: Cambridge United -333 over Lincoln United - I said they were can't lose picks, not necessarily profitable picks.

ESPN/Deadspin: Updated

I know many of you probably aren't enjoying this nearly as much as I am, but I'm throw around the minimal weight that my posting privilidges allow. Bitches.

ESPN did release a response to Deadspin's secret sharing.




A lot of bitterness being spewed by the ESPN brass. However, noticeably lacking in the response, anything remotely close to a denial.

Then today, from the New York Post, the confession.

Berson, whom Business Week ranks as the 73rd most powerful man in sports, finalized his divorce from his ex-wife Jane in March, a source said. Lacey and Berson first found romance together two years ago, the source said. A separate ESPN source confirmed Berson and Lacey had been dating for a long time.

I'm sorry, but this is too amusing.

25.5 hours till TFC.

Deadspin/ESPN and Michael Jordan's Son

The best way to start this post is to plug a different blog, Deadspin. Currently, the ubersportsblog is cleaning out the inbox of tips they've received about ESPN employee sexcapades. This is in response to the Steve Phillips' boning of a 22-year-old production assistant.

Basically, Deadspin got word of the Phillips story a day in advance and called the four letter network to confirm the forthcoming Phillips absence. Rather than going "no comment" the network said that the story was completely false, except it wasn't. Not being the first time Bristol has snubbed, blacklisted, or lied to the blog, Deadspin has responded by throwing some (maybe all?) of it's ESPN employee liaison stories out to the public. Followed by an invitation to ESPN to comment as they'd like. They're all good reads, and worth a bit of your time.



However, my favorite story of the day comes out of the University of Central Florida, where Marcus Jordan, better known to all of us as the son of Michael Jordan, is refusing to play basketball unless he can wear his father's sneakers. While it's not uncommon for the offspring of famous people to follow the career path of their parent(s), most attempt to set themselves apart from their famous namesake, and forge their own identity. Not Son of Michael Jordan, he's fighting with every bit to stay as firming connecting to that vast, bald shadow that he can. I think we know which side of the family Son of Michael Jordan got his ego from.

As endorsement savvy as Michael Jordan is, you would think he would have instilled in his son, Son of Michael Jordan, that you need to check into potential endorsement conflicts of interest before signing up. I hope that UCF tells Son of Michael Jordan that he can ride the bench, if that, until he understands that he has no special rights, and gets treated the same as his teammates.

However, I expect UCF to cave in.

49.5 hours til TFC...

Jeff Reed is a douche bag

Does the man in this picture not scream, "hit me, I'm a douche bag."? He voluntarily posed like that, knowing his picture was being taken. WTF!

I support the special team players as much as or more than anyone else you know. However, I'm jumping off the Jeff Reed bandwagon. This little drunken cop fighting incident aside, he's been one of the more obnoxious parts of this club for the past couple of years. I mean, look at that picture, it's beyond agitating.

NFL kickers (and punters, not that Daniel will ever be an issue) are like head coaches, only 32 people in the world get be one of them, and there are plenty more capable people to fill those positions, should you fall out of favor. Step your game up, party at places a little better than McFadden's, tell your teammates to step back inside the bar to take a leak, try not fighting the cops, allegedly, and maybe you'll get to stick around a bit longer.

TFC 1 - RSL 0

Another great weekend with the kids from Canadia. Saturday night can't get here any faster.

However, the other part of this game was the 250X40 ft. banner being made for Danny Dichio. This was a combined effort of the Red Patch Boys and the U-Sector supporter groups.




It was amazing in person...




Now, onto this weekend's regular season ending schedule of games. Thanks to my amazing copy and paste abilities, below is the cheat sheet to knowing what it takes to get TFC into the post-season for the first time in club history.

TFC WIN vs NY, hope for:

Colorado vs RSL - draw or RSL win
Dallas vs Seattle - draw or Seattle win

... just one of those results needs to happen for TFC to get in with a win

TFC DRAW vs NY, hope for:

Colorado vs RSL - draw or Colorado win AND
Dallas vs Seattle - Seattle win AND
NE vs Columbus - draw or Columbus win AND
DC vs KC - draw or KC win

Piper's on Saturday night, Do It!

Captain's Dead

R.I.P.



Lou Albano will always be remembered in these parts for managing my favorite wrestler as a kid, The Magnificent Muraco. I recall being younger, and trying to imitate Captain Lou by stapling rubber bands to my face. And then wanting to beat the crap outta any of my friends who chanted "Beach Bum" at my boy Muraco. Oh, the memories...

Dre's going to be Dre'

I guess so...



Can't think of what's more hilarious: The fact that Dre' Bly says he doesn't regret his bonehead move, or that he refers to himself in the third person.

Hockey Night in Canada

Found this over at Pensblog. If you haven't seen it yet, a pretty kick ass intro for this past Saturday's Pens / Leafs game. Meanwhile, FSN is busy sucking...

Crosby Sucks! Crosby Sucks! (Hartnell Bites)

(catching up...)

Every time Sir Sid stepped into the face-off circle last Thursday, the Cro-Magnons at the Wach started their cute little chant. Meanwhile, 87 walked away with an 87.5% win rate, snagging 21 of the 24 face-offs he took. I guess he was affected.

I know...this sounds like a broken record around these parts. Every time the Pens play the scum bag Flyers, we get a chance to pull out the hate card and enjoy a laugh at their expense. It's almost too easy.

The Flyer philosophy has worked so well the last 35 years, why stray? Bring in more dirt bags: Chris Pronger, Ian Laperriere, and Ray Emery. These guys should fit in nicely with dildos like Debbie Carcillo, Riley Cote, and Scott Hartnell.

Pronger is slow, and well past his prime. But hey!! He's one of the league's dirtiest players, so he should fit in fine in Philly. Pronger was a non-factor all night, unless you consider his inability to avoid hits from Craig Adams and Matt Cooke a good thing.

Ian Laperriere is pretty much useless, in the same mold as Carcillo. Maybe he'll make the Flyer pre-game fight video , but he won't be helping these dopes get any further than they did last year.

And Ray Emery has drawings of famous boxers on his cage, which is obviously the reason the Flyers sought him in the off season. Emery was a sieve all night, and basically looked like a deer in headlights. Just as I used to remember him. The Rocky Balboa drawing on the back of Emery's cage saw as much rubber in the back of the net as Emery saw all night in front of him.

But the leader of the pumpkin-sweatered douche bags is obviously Hartnell. Bozo reached new depths of the scum pit when he actually bit Kris Letang in the scrum at the end of the game. Nothing surprises us anymore with these ass clowns.

And I know there's a bunch of Mike Richards fans out there, but it's official. The temperament of the world's most moronic sports franchise has taken over Richards, who will probably never reach his full potential until he is outta Philly. Richards took a run at MAF to end the game, taking a cheap shot to Fleury's head in the process. Oddly, Richards was nowhere to be found in that same scrum as he sheepishly laid on the ice acting like he was hurt so no one would kick his ass. He was last seen skating away from the fray while the rest of his teammates gooned it up. Richards = Douche.

Pens. Winner. Flyers. Loser. Again.

End of game funsies...

Boston Spaceships - How Wrong You Are

New Boston Spaceships Video - "How Wrong You Are" - Video - Stereogum

Shared via AddThis

Thanks gbvh!!!

Boston Spaceships: Zero to 99

If you don't already have this, you are not cool. Be cool, and go now to your local Factory of Raw Essentials. As with all new releases, the vinyl comes with a free CD-R. More great stuff from Bob, including the tune below "How Wrong You Are." Magnet calls it "possibly the best song Robert Pollard has recorded since the demise of Guided By Voices."

Listen below:

MP3 At 3PM: Boston Spaceships

Posted using ShareThis

John Buccigross likes the Pens and cool music

Interesting little read from maybe the only person at ESPN who cares about hockey.

He's got the Pens back atop the Eastern Conference and apparently is an indie / alt rawk fan. Only wish he would've picked a better act than Ben Folds to represent the Penguinos.

READ HERE: John Buccigross: Breaking down the Eastern Conference

Japandroids!!!!!!

This Wednesday at Garfield Artworks. BE THERE.



More Japandroids over at MySpace HERE.

A review from their recent show up in Toronto. (thanks gbvh!)

The Thermals: Daytripping at the NYSE

more fun stuff over at Pitchfork.tv



Part 2:

Jay Reatard: It Ain't Gonna Save Me

GREAT vid from an even better record. Watch Me Fall...BUY HERE.



All is lost There is no hope!!

this Pitchfork.tv thingy is really neato.

My Quasi Pompous Ode to 1989 (part 4 of 4)

Here it is, kids. The moment all 5 of you have been waiting for. The jaw dropping, show stopping conclusion to this stupid little list we started back on Monday. I'm tired of recapping, so if you'd like to see #20 - #6, see below or click HERE for the EC home page.

#5 - The Stone Roses: "I Wanna Be Adored"

From their much acclaimed debut and self-titled album, The Stone Roses. Another in the long line of great bands who hailed from Manchester during this time period.



Go HERE for a better video (embedding was disabled)

#4 - Fugazi: "Waiting Room"

I AM A PATIENT BOY!!!!! Hell. Yes. If you watch one video of these 20 tunes, make it this one...




#3 - The Jesus & Mary Chain: "Head On"

The Pixies would later cover this on their 1991 Trompe le Monde record, but we prefer these Scottish shoegazers' version better.

"And the way I feel tonight...I could die and I wouldn't mind"



#2 - The Pixies: "Debaser"

Third greatest band of all-time, imho. Real tough to choose one track off the Doolittle album, as it was by far my favorite record of the year. "Here Comes Your Man" and "Monkey Gone to Heaven" were probably the more popular tunes. Also under consideration were "La La Love You", "Wave of Mutilation", "Hey", and "Gouge Away". If it wasn't for the self-imposed "one song per group" thingy, more from this album would've made the Essential 20. So we choose the opening track.

The lyrics from "Debaser" are supposedly referring to a 1920's French film called Un chien andalou. Go HERE for the trailer. "Slicing up eyeballs" is apparently a shot in the short 15 minute film. Cool.

"Girly so groovy!!!"




#1 - Guided By Voices: "Navigating Flood Regions"



No brainer. From the greatest band ever. From Self-Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia. Only 500 were originally pressed, so if you have one of these originals in your collection, you are a lucky person. Also under consideration from this record was "Liar's Tale", but this track is probably one of my all-time favorite GBV tunes. OK, I'll say it...Top 10, easy.

Guilty admission: For the longest time, I always thought the lyric was "The shit floats but it won't float away." But anyone who knows me, knows I have a habit of botching lyrics. Straight from gbvdb.com, here's the actual lyrics for you to sing along, from the greatest songwriter to ever grace the planet....

Spy ??shouting?? the crew let's string him up
Wise up to the captain where's my coffee cup
And it's been an adventurous day
The ship floats but it won't float away
Let's us stay
Don your favorite costume here we go
Belt a song if you're not real long and slow
And you doing a wonderful job
Shaping up with a competent mob
It's your job
It's as long as wide and just beginning
Been around for aeons just like me
Grab your money and let's go for all the winnings
Cast your soul into the jagged sea
It's the number on your head
Now you're dead
Stuff you down the barrel of a cannon
Let you see the world as something to see
Take you to the corners of the playground
Let you watch the traffic through the trees
It's the number on your head
Now you're dead
And we run as the war trumpet blows
And the judge with the list of no-shows

- Robert Pollard, Needmore Songs

Turn up your speakers. Guide your mouse over the image below. Play. Rawk. Enjoy.


Thought I could find some video footage from their 2004 Electrifying Conclusion doing "Navigating Flood Regions", but I failed. Since I love yinz so much, here's a bonus track, also from Self-Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia..."Chief Barrel Belly":

My Quasi Pompous Ode to 1989 (part 3 of 4)

For those catching up to speed: my personal essentials from 1989, in honor of 1989. Only one tune per group permitted. #20 thru #11 recapped:

#20 - FYC: "Ever Fallen in Love" (Buzzcocks cover)
#19 - Smithereens: "A Girl Like You"
#18 - Vaselines: "Dying For It"
#17 - Replacements: "Talent Show"
#16 - Galaxie 500: "When Will You Come Home"
#15 - Yo La Tengo: "Barnaby, Hardly Working"
#14 - Nirvana: "Love Buzz"
#13 - The Beastie Boys: "Shake Your Rump"
#12 - The B-52's: "Bushfire"
#11 - Lou Reed: "Dirty Boulevard"

Go HERE for full nonsense and more time wasting material on Part 1 and Part 2.

Continuing...

#10 - Big Audio Dynamite: "Contact"

So, it wasn't the Clash. But B.A.D. still had some really catchy tunes. This one was on heavy rotation at the time with our little crew of friends. I think the chics digged it, too. And when you're 18, you tend to play what the chics like :) Not the greatest audio on this clip, but check out Mick Jones' hair!!




#9 - XTC: "Mayor of Simpleton"

From Oranges & Lemons. Didn't realize it at the time, but I guess this hit #1 on the U.S. Billboard "Modern Rock" charts...



#8 - Red Hot Chili Peppers: "Taste the Pain"

I remember first hearing this in the Cameron Crowe film Say Anything. Upon further review, I guess Anthony Kiedis was dating Diane Court at the time. Sorry...but Anthony Kiedis is NO Lloyd Dobler. But who is, right?

I kinda lost interest in the RHCPs over the years, but I still love Mother's Milk. This was my favorite off that album...




#7 - Hoodoo Gurus: "Come Anytime"

From the album, Magnum Cum Louder. Ah...I get it!! Like magna cum laude, but with a pornographic twist. Those crazy Australians. Oh, well. Kinda lame, but I loved this catchy little number...




#6 - De La Soul: "Me, Myself, and I"

I bought 3 Feet High and Rising on cassette in 1989 from a liquor store 1 block into Chicago past Harlem Ave near Oak Park (I believe it was called "Sir Jays", but I just know they sold to minors). A good friend of mine at the time was giving me a ride in his Volkswagen Rabbit (with no A/C or radio!!) to Southern Illinois University...a 6 hour ride from Chicago. It was August. It was hot.

We stopped at a Walgreen's (after the adult beverage and cassette stop), and bought a mini little "boom box" and a slew of batteries. We proceeded on our road trip with the sun roof open (yes...no A/C or radio, but it had a sun roof), and the radio in the back seat pumping out De La Soul. I believe we had a few other cassettes on hand, but none were necessary. We continued to flip the 3 Feet High and Rising cassette the entire ride (no exaggeration).

By the time we got back, I think we knew every word of all 24 tracks. It was the soundtrack of our lives for the rest of 1989. Lots of great #'s, and again hard to choose one. So, we go with this...

Live on the Arsenio Hall show...



tomorrow...the electrifying conclusion...

My Quasi Pompous Ode to 1989 (part 2 of 4)

For those who missed yesterday's class, my personal and Essential 20 Tunes from 1989 started as is:

#20 - FYC: "Ever Fallen in Love" (Buzzcocks cover)
#19 - Smithereens: "A Girl Like You"
#18 - Vaselines: "Dying For It"
#17 - Replacements: "Talent Show"
#16 - Galaxie 500: "When Will You Come Home"

Again, this is a personal "favorites" list, and not a "best of" list. Moving on...

#15 - Yo La Tengo: "Barnaby, Hardly Working"

From the album, President Yo La Tengo. , which was later re-issued by Matador Records. Coincidentally, the birth of Matador (my personal favorite record label) was also in 1989. Twenty years later, YLT is still pumping out amazing records (see: Popular Songs), and remains one of my favorite bands (6th to be exact) to this day.

No video, but move your little mouse thingy over the image below, play, and enjoy...

Download:
::
Yo La Tengo - "Barnaby, Hardly Working"::

#14 - Nirvana: "Love Buzz"

A couple years before "Smells Like Teen Spirit" slapped America in the face, all the cool kids were already into Nirvana with their debut record Bleach. A 20 year anny reissue is scheduled to come out this November on Sub Pop. Bleach remains one of only two records that the Seattle label has released to have gone platinum (the other being Flight of the Conchords), but only sold 30,000 copies after its initial pressing.

"About a Girl" became the more popular tune from the same record, after its appearance on MTV's Unplugged, but we prefer this rocker much more. LOVE (!!!) the bass line. Rawk...




** yes, another cover tune, as pointed out by a loyal follower :)

#13 - The Beastie Boys: "Shake Your Rump"

Admittedly, I was also on the diss bandwagon after Paul's Boutique came out. I was a huge License To Ill dude. But in retrospect, PB remains our favorite Beastie's album. What were we thinking?



#12 - The B-52's: "Bushfire"
Fun, fantastic record that Cosmic Thing. Others may prefer the mega hit "Love Shack", or "Roam." We dig this one the most. Again, no video to be found. Play and enjoy...

Or download if you prefer...

::The B-52's - "Bushfire"::



#11 - Lou Reed: "Dirty Boulevard"

Not my favorite output from Lou, so maybe this goes down as a career achievement sorta thingy. Love my Lou....



back Wed with 10 thru 6...

My Quasi Pompous Ode to 1989 (part 1 of 4)

My 20 year H.S. reunion approaches this week, so in honor of my beloved classmates of '89, I give you this 4 part blurb...

My personal 20 essential tunes from 1989. Notice the "personal" inclusion, and nowhere will you hear me say "best." So BACK OFF! First and foremost, I am not a music critic. I simply like what I like. Admittedly, my musical taste isn't for everyone. But I hope you will enjoy my little blast to the past.

First off, some rules. OK, one rule. Only one song per group. There were some tough choices in this regard, but for the interest of diversity, we'll only choose one song per group. Disclaimer: I may have missed something, and years may overlap. This was a best effort, and done with minimal research. It is a humble opinion, and hence, can not be flawed :)

#20 - Bad English: "When I See You Smile"

Just kidding. Perhaps now you get the pompous reference :)

#20 (for reals) - Fine Young Cannibals: "Ever Fallen In Love"
OK...a cover song. But we love the Buzzcocks, so props to this Birmingham trio for good taste. There were bigger "hits" off The Raw and the Cooked, such as "Good Thing" and "She Drives Me Crazy," but we choose this one to start our Essential 20. The video from the FYC is kinda lame, so in lieu of, I give you the original...



#19 - The Smithereens: "A Girl Like You"

We're also a fan of "Blues Before and After", but choose this, the opening track off of 11. Love the opening riff...



#18 - The Vaselines: "Dying For It"

Originally released as an EP the year prior (which also contains the tune "Molly's Lips", which Nirvana later covered), this here tune appears on the Vaselines only full length, Dum-Dum. EC highly recommends a purchase of Enter the Vaselines, a 2009 deluxe re-issue from Sub Pop which contains Dum-Dum, their two EP's (Dying For It and Son of a Gun), as well as demos and live tracks.



#17 - The Replacements: "Talent Show"

I CAN'T BELIEVE...I'VE ONLY JUST DISCOVERED...THE REPLACEMENTS!!!!

From Don't Tell a Soul, definitely not our favorite from the Replacements catalogue, which also contained the hit "I'll Be You."



#16 - Galaxie 500: "When Will You Come Home"

Seeing Galaxie 500 gave way to Dean Wareham's next band Luna, another fav of ours, as well as the Damon and Naomi duo, I guess this here defines "essential" for me. Love this record, and it was a tough call to narrow to one track. Pitchfork calls it the 16th best album from the 80's. Also off of On Fire: "Strange", "Blue Thunder", and "Snowstorm." The CD version also contains a New Order cover, "Ceremony." I believe Damon is playing drums underneath a basketball hoop. Cool...

Art Brut invades DC Comics

thanks Pitchfork.tv

go here for Part 2

"I BELIEVE" (file under: Toronto FC Playoff Optimism)

Straight from a loyal EC reader and Believer of TFC...as opposed to a Blasphemer of TFC (not saying names...Yost):

just crunched numbers of all the playoff contenders, Toronto has the easiest remaining schedule.

• Toronto ... four remaining games ... two H two V ... average point total of remaining opposition: 28.
• DC ... four remaining games ... three H two V ... average point total of remaining opposition: 36
• SEA ... four remaining games ... one H three V ... average point total of opposition: 34.5
• Colorado ... four remaining games ... one H three V ... average point total of opposition: 31
• RSL ... four remaining games ... two H two V (one against Toronto) ... average point total of opposition: 29
• NE ... six games remaining ... three H three V ... average point total of opposition: 31
• Chivas ... six games remaining ... four H two V ... average point total of opposition: 31.5

With two extra games, ya gotta believe NE and Chivas should make it.

If when any of the above teams play each other, we can get some ties ... and Toronto wins its two home games and its game in NY (I know, not as easy as it might sound)

I THINK WE CAN DO THIS THING!!!

YES!!!! LET'S DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also...word on the streets: No Blanco tomorrow for Chicago.

Yay Buccos!

Two proud and historic MLB franchises met yesterday for some scorching baseball action. Scenes from yesterday's game at PNC Park...





You Pirates fans should be ashamed. So fair weathered. Where are you when your ball club needs you the most?! I'm embarrassed for you.

thanks to loyal reader and correspondent Weldy for the scoop